Mom Delivers Her Own Baby in a Hotel Room by Watching YouTube Tutorials & Her Birth Story Is Wild

tia freeman birth story
TheWittleDemon/Twitter

Everybody loves a little DIY project. By just jumping on the Internet you can learn how to wallpaper your own bathroom, install new flooring, or build a birdhouse for your backyard. You can also learn how to deliver your own baby, which is just what new mom Tia Freeman did last month.

  • Freeman, who is 22 years old, has one of the most bananas birth stories we've ever heard.

    It starts with the fact that she didn't know she was pregnant until she was in the third trimester and was on birth control at the time she conceived. Usually, that's as bizarre as a birth story gets. But not in this case. 

    No, in this case we take the slow train to What the Heck, spend the day in You Must Be Kidding, and then do a lap around I Can't Even before heading home on the OMG express. Freeman begins her story by writing, "I still really don't understand what's so shocking about my delivery story. Lol maybe it'll set in one day." She might not understand it, but you will. Trust us.

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  • She was on her way to visit a friend in Germany when the blessed event occurred.

    Freeman, who is a vegetarian, opted to eat the free meal on the 14-hour flight, which was salmon. When she started having cramps, she thought it might be because of the fish. Spoiler alert: It wasn't. By the time she landed in Istanbul for a 17-hour layover, the cramps were so bad, Freeman thought she might have food poisoning. All she wanted to do was get to her hotel. But first, she had to go through customs.

  • Customs is the worst on a good day, never mind when you're in labor but don't know you're in labor.

  • By the time she got to the front of the line, Freeman was asking herself, "Huh. Am I in labor?"

    As anyone can understand, Freeman did NOT intend to give birth on the floor of a Turkish airport. "I start talking to myself like, 'Bitch what you're not gonna do is give birth on the airport floor. So you need to get it together & make it to your hotel,'" she wrote on Twitter.

    Luckily, she made it to her hotel room -- which is in a country where she doesn't know the language or how to call an ambulance.

  • She could barely stand at that point, so Freeman decided it was going to happen in that hotel room, and the Internet was going to help her through it.

    She filled up the tub for a water birth, grabbed some towels, and prepared to give birth. By herself. For the first time.

  • She timed her contractions using the timer on her phone, got into a comfortable position, and started pushing.

    Fortunately, it didn't take long for her baby boy to arrive. She then, of course, delivered her own placenta with help from Google. And cut the umbilical cord -- again, thanks to Google.

    "The hotel had these sanitation baggies in the bathroom so I just picked it [the placenta] up by the cord and dropped it in the bag," she explained in a tweet. "Now it's still attached to him so now I've got to google how to cut an umbilical cord."

  • So she sterilized some shoelaces to cut the cord. Shoelaces! She just MacGyver'd the hell out of this birth.

    And what happened next? This woman cleaned up the room, breastfed her baby, went to bed, got up the next morning, and headed to the damn airport for her flight to Germany.

  • That's when the police got involved. No, seriously.

    Freeman wrote that she ended up making a trip to the US consulate and a local hospital before being escorted to a hotel for what would be fully paid-for two-week stay in Turkey (thanks to Turkish Airlines).

  • She made the national news and got her boob grabbed by an old woman. As you do.

  • Freeman and her son, Xavier, are now back in the United States, healthy and happy.

    Congratulations, Tia. You're a badass.

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