Bride Who Asked Moms to Breastfeed in Bathroom Defends Herself


If you've been keeping up with your social media pop culture lately, then you probably remember the beyond viral post of a wedding invitation asking breastfeeding moms to feed their babies in the bathroom during the wedding reception. Social media lit up like a Christmas tree with people defending a mom's right to breastfeed anywhere she damn well pleases. But there are two sides to every story, and now the bride who sent out those invitations is speaking out, explaining why she asked guests to keep the breastfeeding off the dance floor. 


Shelby Platter and her husband Garret got married last month. Most newlyweds spend the first few months after the wedding scrolling through photos on social media and happily reliving the special day, but every time Platter goes online, she's met with mean messages and comments from people about the note included in her wedding invitation that guest Ceara LaFrance posted to the popular Facebook page Breastfeeding Mama Talk. 

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Breastfeeding Mamma Talk/Facebook
The note read in part: "We have designated an appropriate place for you to feed your baby so that you do not have to do so in public in front of our family and friends. For your convenience we are accommodating you with a comfortable and private area with chairs."

Platter told WFAA that she, her mother, and the wedding planner came up with the idea to give breastfeeding moms a designated space. Their reasoning was, with photographers and videographers capturing the night, they wanted breastfeeding to be a private affair. "We had photography and we have videography there too, so we didn't want anything to be not private," she told the news station.

While it's nice to consider that your guests may want to make sure a stray nipple doesn't end up on camera, it's another thing entirely to assume they won't want to feed in front of a videographer. And it's bridezilla level of wrong to tell them that they can't. You've asked them to come as your guest and welcomed their children to your wedding. You don't get to dictate people's behavior once they're there. 

As for asking moms to feed their babies in the bathroom, she didn't think that asking babies to eat while other people farted around them was an issue. "We did have a 'Plan B,' but nobody asked," she explained. "Nobody said that 'Plan A' was a problem." Plan B was supposedly an unused office space on the second floor of the wedding venue where guests could have gone to breastfeed in private.

Platter claims she's not anti-breastfeeding. "I know it's an important issue and that's fine. I'm all for breastfeeding," she said.

She's hurt that LaFrance chose to take this issue to social media, rather than come to Platter directly about it, or even bring it up through LaFrance's husband, who was the best man. In fact, no one mentioned it. Six couples received the breastfeeding note in their invitation and not a single one said anything about it to Platter before or even during the wedding. LaFrance herself left her baby home with a wet nurse the night of the wedding. And those moms who did bring babies fed them outside the view of guests, though Platter told blogger Sandy Malone she's not sure whether they nursed in the bathroom or elsewhere. 

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Platter says her husband's friendship with LaFrance's husband, his former best friend and best man, is forever changed by the incident. Thanks to LaFrance's media callout instead of addressing the issue with her directly first, she'll always have bad memories tainting what should be one of the happiest days of her life. At the same time, it's never, ever okay to dictate to a breastfeeding mom how and where to feed her child. 

There are two sides to every story, and in this case, neither of them led to a happy ending.

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