Parenting

Mother-In-Law Ignores New Mom's Wishes but the Internet Can't Decide Who's Right

ParentingPublished Nov 9, 2018
By Genny Glassman
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Any new mom will tell you that the work isn't over once baby is born. As soon as you leave the hospital, you have to deal with getting baby home alive, figure out how often the baby will need to eat/sleep/poop, and yes, you'll have to deal with sometimes complicated visits from your family. Which was certainly the case for one woman's daughter, who had given birth via emergency c-section and asked that her mother-in-law stay away until they brought bub home and got themselves settled. Well of course, MIL didn't listen to her request. She showed up at their house, got in a fight with her son, and then reached out to the original poster hoping to have her intervene. Now the new grandmother is sharing her story in the parenting forum Mumsnet, asking other parents "Am I being unreasonable to block her number and ignore her?" But the internet is divided.

The drama started when user Ohmyohmyohmyohmy's daughter came home from the hospital, only to find her mother-in-law waiting for her in the driveway.-placeholder
The drama started when user Ohmyohmyohmyohmy's daughter came home from the hospital, only to find her mother-in-law waiting for her in the driveway.
Mumsnet

The drama started when user Ohmyohmyohmyohmy's daughter came home from the hospital, only to find her mother-in-law waiting for her in the driveway.

Later in the thread, the mom shared that her daughter's emergency c-section was particularly traumatic for her because she suffers from anxiety and explained that she was asked to be in the birthing room because her daughter was so upset.

"I understand why MIL is upset, but daughter really doesn’t need this right now," she added. 

The original poster then said that she's unsure if she should try and solve this family feud or let her daughter's MIL work it out for herself.

"Am I being unreasonable?" she wondered.

Many people backed Ohmyohmyohmyohmy up and told her that she should not engage with her daughter's MIL.

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Mumsnet

img-of-media-slide-264483-placeholder
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Mumsnet

And one person wrote in that MIL was pretty out of line and now it's up to Mama Bear to tell her to back off.-placeholder
And one person wrote in that MIL was pretty out of line and now it's up to Mama Bear to tell her to back off.
Mumsnet

And one person wrote in that MIL was pretty out of line and now it's up to Mama Bear to tell her to back off.

But not everyone agreed. Some people feel like Ohmyohmyohmyohmy's daughter should have sucked it up and dealt with a quick visit.

One person wrote that she thought the OP's daughter was being a little unfair.-placeholder
One person wrote that she thought the OP's daughter was being a little unfair.
Mumsnet

One person wrote that she thought the OP's daughter was being a little unfair.

"Why couldn't MIL have popped in?" she reasoned.

And someone else thought that the whole argument was downright silly.-placeholder
And someone else thought that the whole argument was downright silly.
Mumnet

And someone else thought that the whole argument was downright silly.

"It sounds like it has been blown out of proportion," said someone else.-placeholder
"It sounds like it has been blown out of proportion," said someone else.
Mumsnet

"It sounds like it has been blown out of proportion," said someone else.

In the end, Ohmyohmyohmyohmy sent her daughter's MIL some pictures of the new baby and suggested that "maybe when things calm down she can come here to see baby." And then told her that she should arrange things with her son if she were to come and visit.

She also recommended that her daughter's husband have a heart-to-heart to his mom and set some "gentle rules down."

"I am looking forward to a quiet weekend," she added. Here's hoping!

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