This Baby Doesn't Sleep Through the Night & Her Mom Refuses to Be Judged for It

mom and kids cosleeping
petatuckbrisbanedoula/Instagram

Peta Tuck is a doula and a mom who understands that there are endless opinions about what's best in the world of parenting. Especially when it comes to co-sleeping and self-soothing, many parents quickly learn that all folks have their own strong beliefs on when babies should or shouldn't sleep alone and if their loving parents should let them cry it out. However, she is sick of these perspectives turning into judgments that divide moms.

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After recently reading a post that she found "hard to stomach," Peta decided to share her thoughts about those who criticize moms. The article that her friends were sharing called out parents for co-sleeping because of research that claims that it decreases a baby's ability to self-soothe while also increasing tantrums as well as obesity. Peta is simply sick of people trying to use these findings to scare new new moms. "Umm, yep. Please shut up," she wrote on Instagram. "It is in our DNA to be with our children. They cry for a reason, to communicate their needs. They don't need to learn to self-settle at 6 weeks, 6 months or 16 months."

doula mom
petatuckbrisbanedoula/Instagram
More from CafeMom: This Mom Doesn't Care What You Think About Her Co-Sleeping for 9 Years

Now that Peta has three kids, she has gained the confidence to do what she thinks is best for her family and refuses to let fear of judgment impact her parenting, especially when it comes to bedtime. "When did having a baby sleep through the night become the defining thing for successful parenting?" she wrote. "I was one of those young impressionable first time mothers who thought I knew it all. Who thought a baby sleeping through the night meant I was a great mom, forgetting the tears we both shed to get there." 

Peta shared that her and her first baby's "self-settling" experience lasted only a few short months because she just couldn't continue ignoring her gut. "My baby girl was waking for a reason, she was communicating to me," she wrote. "So I FINALLY listened to my instincts & not everyone around me telling me what I should be doing. I started bringing her into bed with us, it was the best decision ever."

co-sleeping family
petatuckbrisbanedoula/Instagram

More from CafeMom: Mom Feeds 1 Daughter Breast Milk, the Other Formula -- & Feels Zero Guilt

Looking back, Peta believes that those months of self-soothing created bonding issues with her daughter and she regrets feeling pressured to ignore what she thought was best. "It shatters me thinking about it," she wrote.

So if you don't agree with her decision to co-sleep, Peta wants you to keep your opinion and "click bait" articles to yourself instead of making other parents feel guilty or inadequate for doing things differently. "Mothers don't want to hear this. They don't want to be judged for their decisions," she wrote. "They don't want to be told that the choice they have made for their family is 'wrong' or not 'mainstream'!"

All parents deserve to feel supported, no matter their parenting style, and if you can't offer that, then it's time to mind your own business. "Self soothe, co sleep, formula fed or breast fed ... I don't care whatever your choice is, do it because you are informed, it fits your family's needs and most importantly you are supported in those choices!" she wrote. "Remember, you are perfectly imperfect."

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