Woman Brilliantly Shuts Down Troll Who Tried to Tell Her She's Not a 'Real Mom'

tova leigh and her daughter

Blogger Tova Leigh describes herself as a mom, actress, writer, and chocoholic (obvi). She has three daughters and a gazillion smart real-talk observations on parenthood, body image, and a bevy of other topics. Yesterday, she took to Instagram to fire back at a ridiculous troll who came at her with his thoughts on "real moms." And ohhh, did Leigh put this guy in his place.


"To the guy who wrote in to tell me that 'working moms' are not 'real moms,' firstly I'd like to welcome you to the 21st century. You probably missed the memo, and this may come as a shock, but news flash - women work," Leigh started out her brilliant post.

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tova leigh and her daughter

She went on to write, "I think you may be confused by what makes someone a 'real mom' as you call it, so listen up as I explain what it means." Ha. 

What followed may just be the most on-point definition of a "real mom" ever. (And, at the very least, it was a full-on smackdown of this dumbass dude.)

Leigh wrote:

"It does not matter if a woman squeezed a child out of her vagina, or had her stomach cut open to get her baby out, if she adopted, used an egg donor, or a surrogate. It doesn't matter if she breastfeeds, bottle feeds, if she stays at home or goes back to work. It doesn't matter if she plays with her kids for 5 hours straight every day or takes some time for herself. It does not matter if she cooks from scratch, or orders take out, if her house is spotless or a raging mess, if she bakes homemade cookies or gets them from the store. And it doesn't matter if she has the patience of a saint or if she sometimes loses her shit.

"All that matters is that she loves her children with all her heart, and does her absolute best to provide and care for them."

Seriously, if Leigh and other working moms aren't "real," then maybe they're badass unicorns. Fearless mermaids. Mythical magical queens! But no, dammit. They're actually as real as you can get -- all while also being multitasking goddesses. Respect!

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Of course, that's not to say "real moms" are flawless either. And, as Leigh pointed out, it's about time we all stop shaming each other and striving for 'perfection': 

"Because 'real moms' come in lots of shape and forms and there really is no one perfect way to be a parent. And you know what else? 'Real moms' make mistakes.

"They are not perfect, they don't always get it right, and they sometimes wish they could do better, but the bottom line is that they are all kicking ass on a daily basis, at home, at work and everywhere in between."

So far, Leigh's post has racked up 1,000 likes and tons of supportive comments, like this one that reads: "I have been a stay-at-home mom and a working mom and it's all effing hard. I also didn't breastfeed my kids and they're still alive. If you're a mom, you're a real mom. Love you so hard for all you said here!"

There are always going to be people like this guy spouting off about their skewed, eye roll–inducing worldviews. At the same time, we can be grateful for outspoken, pull-no-punches mamas like Tova Leigh who will never fail to put these shamers in their place. "Real moms" everywhere, you can definitely consider this aggravating situation handled.

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