'Poop in Silence': 13 Parents Reveal What They Do When the Kids Aren't Around

Liz Alterman | Sep 23, 2016 Parenting News

parents do while kids are awayYou know the old expression, When the cat's away, the mice will play? Well, apparently, the same can be said about parents once the children are out of the house for a few hours. Moms and dads on Reddit shared exactly what they'd do if they had a little kid-free time to themselves -- and the answers may shock and delight you.

As wonderful as it is to be a parent, there are moments when you just want to be alone (like when you're on the toilet, for example). These moms and dads came up with some of the guilty pleasures they'd enjoy if they ever got a grown-up time-out.


Image via goodluz/Shutterstock 


  • Sleep

    Image via Markevich Maria/Shutterstock

    You'd think moms and dads might want to rekindle their romance? No thanks. They just want to rest!

    "If someone took our kids for a night we would probably get a hotel room and just sleep." -- Aken42

    Sounds good to us. 

  • Go to the Store

    Image via Andresr/Shutterstock

    "Wife and I had a rare date night a few months ago. We had an early dinner out, with drinks afterwards, and were still done by 7:30. So we went on a Target run, naturally. There really is something to be said about shopping without kids." -- tapehead

    Amen to that! 

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  • Dine Alone -- on Adult Food

    Image via Lucky Business/Shutterstock

    "Have a meal that's not interrupted by a kid asking for a million things. (I need water, a different spoon, your food, etc.)" -- Witchymuggle

    Oh, this does sound like heaven -- especially if the meal doesn't involve mac-and-cheese or chicken fingers!

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  • Use the Toilet

    Image via AXL/Shutterstock

    "Poop in silence." -- MagicCoq

    Bet you never thought this would be something you'd have to actually wish for, did you? Well, welcome to parenthood!

  • Sit & Savor the Silence

    Image via Maridav/Shutterstock

    "Sit in the peace and quiet. Nobody touching or talking to you, it's like the greatest thing, silence..." -- jmoneysodakbud

    Well-stated! It is nice to sit alone once in a while and not have anyone wipe sticky fingers through your hair. 

  • Eat Ice Cream

    Image via FotoCuisinette/Shutterstock

    Imagine having all the good treats just for yourself? That's exactly what this parent craves!

    "Eat ice cream without sharing." -- superfly355

  • Brace Yourself

    Image via Zurijeta/shutterstock

    "I have a 5- and a 3-year-old. When they're not around I like to blankly stare into the middle distance readying myself for their inevitable return." -- uniquetweets2

    Ha! We totally get it. You have to brace yourself for the onslaught of action once they're back in the house. 

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  • Curse

    Image via Cameron Whitman

    "Swear in conversation or when I step on another F*CKING LEGO." -- JSNBRK

    Cursing when you're alone in the car can be very cathartic too, um, or so we hear.

  • Watch Horror Movies

    Image via Milles Studio

    "Watch horror movies." -- blargh2947

    With Halloween right around the corner, this is a good one! No need to scare the kiddos. Make some popcorn and catch a thriller that will have you on the edge of your seat or screaming in terror. 

  • Go to the Post Office

    Image via Africa Studio/Shutterstock

    "I go to the post office. Because going to the post office with kids is pure f*cking torture." -- toomanykids4

    Oh man, does this parent nail it! Taking the little ones to run errands takes about twice as long as it does alone. 

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  • Revert to the Good Old Days

    Image via frenky362/Shutterstock

    "Play video games with my headphones on. Order pizza. I basically revert back to my single days." -- Jaybird2166

    No sharing required. Sounds like a dream night for many dads, right? 

  • Get Busy (Wink, Wink)

    Image via DeanDrobot/Shutterstock

    "F*ck (LOUDLY). Open the windows and enjoy a house that doesn't smell like a f*cking gym sock (we have a 15yo and a 17yo). No amount of candles or air freshener can prepare you for the stench of teenage boys. That Febreeze commercial is accurate af -- they have no clue how f*cking bad they smell." -- karenzyn

    Oh boy! Sounds like a home we might not visit anytime soon!

  • Choose Adult Programming

    Image via Goran Bogicevic/Shutterstock

    Sorry, Mickey and Minnie, this parent is so done with you!

    "Watching TV that isn't Disney." -- MacSteele13

    It's so nice and relaxing to sit back and see an adult show that won't leave a silly song in your head for days after viewing it!

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