New Dad's Epic Babysitter 'Instruction Manual' Is a Paranoid Parent's Dream

Dad wrote hilariously detailed instructions for babysitter

Whoever said mothers are the only ones who obsessively worry about their children -- to the point of insanity at times -- has clearly never met this father. As a new parent, one dad wanted to make sure the person responsible for watching his son while he was away took good care of him. REALLY. GOOD. CARE. That's what makes his hilariously detailed babysitter instructions so funny-- they're totally over the top, yet perfectly sum up the lengths new moms and dads alike will go to make sure baby is okay.

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Speaking of lengths, this email Dad sent to his son's babysitter is VERY LONG. (Obviously, he loves his son very much, haha.) At first glance, Dad's email of instructions for the babysitter seems pretty harmless -- baby needs a bottle every two hours -- until you keep on reading.

For example, have you ever been told to warm up a bottle to "blood temperature"?

Dad wrote hilariously detailed instructions for babysitter

Should this babysitter ever find herself/himself stuck in a tough situation, s/he can turn to the "Skills" portion of the email, which lists Dad's tips and tricks -- including how to use those "stupid-proof" swaddlers.

Dad wrote hilariously detailed instructions for babysitter

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Scroll through a section on diapering -- including how to perform a diaper check, deal with poop, and replace a dirty nappy -- and you come to the interaction portion of the email. Hopefully this babysitter has some skills in the world of dance and music, as Dad instructs her/him to move his son "in short jerks to the beat of something," and reminds the babysitter that baby really likes "live guitar."

Dad wrote hilariously detailed instructions for babysitter

HAHAHA.

OMG, this is a thing of beauty.

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When I first saw this email, and all of its lengthy glory, two things came to mind: An FBI interview would probably be easier than what this babysitter went through to get the job, and this dad is probably an engineer. (He actually is -- lol!)

As detailed as this is, I can't fault Dad for wanting to take some precautions with his child. He loves his son, and just wants to make sure he's okay.

As a mama of two tots, I'll admit there are times when I get a little paranoid about my kids -- and the only people who watch my boys are my mom and father-in-law. I have no shame saying I've asked for P.O.L. (that's "proof of life") texts in my absence. Yes, I trust my family (I mean, my mom did raise me), but that doesn't mean you don't worry.

At least this father can now have a good laugh at how he acted when his son was a baby.

"Dealing with poo. Lift his butt up by his feet using one hand. Pull off the diaper and start breathing through your mouth."

LOL!

This is what paranoid dreams are made of, people!

 

 

 

Images via Fordiman/Reddit

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