Lesbians in 'Finding Dory' -- My Kind of Happily Ever After

Finding Dory

I'm not sure which I'm more excited about, the fact that there may well be a queer couple in the new Disney Pixar film Finding Dory or the fact that the conservatives are going to go crazy about the fact that there may well be a queer couple in the new Disney Pixar film Finding Dory.


Either way, the same result is guaranteed -- further proof of the existence and normalcy of the LGBTQ community. We're here. We're queer. And we're not going anywhere, as the old march saying goes.

If there is a queer couple, a lesbian couple, in Finding Dory, a film made by the company that seems to define what is "normal" and "good," well, then, being queer must be just that. As a lesbian mom, I find it so weird that that’s what I have to "prove" somehow, that I'm "normal" and "good," whatever the heck that means.

I have loved and parented my daughter every step of the way, from the moment she arrived to today -- breastfeeding, first steps, kindergarten jitters, Girl Scouts, first crushes, driver’s license, AP tests, boyfriends, picking a college. I'm a regular mom. But because I'm a woman who loves another woman, some people make bizarre assumptions about my ability to parent.

Sadly, Disney's approval could be a big step toward showing queer parents as the same loving, hopeful, doing-their-best kind of people that any good parents are. I hate that we'd need such a thing. I especially hate that it means so much from a company that has given us all sorts of whacked-out messaging about women and love and relationships and all of that jazz.

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But, you know what, I'll take it. If it means that the nonsense will stop -- the "you’re going to make your kids gay," "your kids are going to see all kinds of sex stuff," "a child needs a man and a woman to be raised properly" nonsense -- then I’m in. Bring on the Disney queer inclusion!

It's all about visibility. It's hard to keep up the myth that the LGBTQ community is made up of partying, sex-crazed, God-hating, marriage-destroying, straight people–converting, amoral weirdos if there we are in a Disney movie at the zoo picking up a toy our bundle of joy dropped from the stroller.

Speaking of visibility, the backlash from such inclusion will provide the kind of press that the LGBTQ community could only dream of. All 10 of the Million Moms groups will threaten to protest Disney. The Fundamentalists will march in front of the Disney store. The conservative and right-wing talking heads will be all over the news screaming until they're red in the face.

And you know what will happen? People will go see the movie. People will see the two-second clip of the lesbian pair (at least that's all there seems to be based on the trailer out now) and the people with any brains in their heads at all will say, "What’s the big deal?"

What's the big deal indeed. You see, the crazier the crazies act, the more apparent their craziness is ... and the more likely that any thinking person will turn his or her back on those groups and their campaigns of lies and hate.

Here's the thing. All of this --  All. Of. This. -- is about distraction. It's about keeping people from the relevant issues at hand. It's about attempting to get people to look away from the "religious leaders" who are taking their money for their own use in the name of God. It's about making sure people forget that our "public servants" in the House and Senate have better benefits and pay than most of us and we pay for it. It's about assuring that people have other people to hate in an effort to keep them from hating the powers that be who are actually the ones keeping them poor and powerless.

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It would be great if it turns out that the lesbian couple makes more than one appearance in the film. Regardless, I hope it moves some kids to ask, "Are those two mommies?" and the thinking, intelligent people among us to say, "Yes." And I hope it causes other children not to skip a beat because ... Get over it. Some kinds have two mommies. Either way, I just hope that it brings us closer to an end to this nonsense.

The only difference between me as a lesbian parent and a woman who is a straight parent is that I love women and she, presumably, loves men. That's the difference between queer and straight. On the most basic, surface level, that's the only difference. Looking for more difference than that is about nothing more than ignorance and a desire to hate someone.

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People like to have someone to hate. It's sad. But it's true. It keeps them from having to look at themselves and their own lives and choices and reality. It's an age-old practice and it's time it was extinct.

Finding Dory, I hope, is one step in the right direction to laying off the myths and time-wasting distractions, and moving on to a world of diversity and inclusion. Visibility is the most powerful tool we have in the LGBTQ community and I can't think of anything more visible than a Disney film.

Now, if only Dory's parents were lesbians ...


Jenny BlockJenny Block is an author and writer with three books to her name, including O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm, and a long list of high-profile sites publications for whom she writes from Huffington Post to Playboy to The Daily Meal. She writes about a variety of topics including love, sex, relationships, travel, food, and the arts. Jenny holds both her BA and her MA in English from Virginia Commonwealth University and taught college composition for nearly 10 years. You can find her at thejennyblock.com and on Twitter at Jenny_Block.


Images via FindingDory/Facebook; Steph Grant

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