16 Strangest Names Parents Gave Their Children in 2014

baby head in handsIt's like Christmas morning for those of us who love to hear about interesting, different, and super-trendy baby names — the Social Security Administration just released its list of the top boys and girls names for 2014. While we could have predicted quite a few of them (Emma, Olivia, Sophia, Noah, Liam, and Mason topped the lists) there are a few head-scratchers that are worth noting.

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First and foremost, the name you choose for your baby is perfect because it reflects you and your family. It might even tell a cool, unique story about your child. With that in mind, I respect a parent's decision to name his or her child whatever on this lovely green Earth he/she wants, so don't give my little ole opinion another thought. Yay for choice.

But I'd be a gigantic liar if I didn't say these popular 2014 names don't leave me with questions. One question: huh?

First, the girls.

Rebel Are you really that keen on setting yourself up for a potential problem when your daughter turns 16? With a name like "Rebel," you're basically encouraging her to run away with the circus. Good luck with that!

Echo — The '70s are alive and well and evident in several names that could have easily been given to children born at Woodstock. Will parents still love them next year, when the '50s make a comeback?

Messiah — If you believe in a Messiah, you probably believe there is one Messiah. Chances are that adorable little girl who blows bubbles to get your attention and throws tantrums when you don't provide her bottle fast enough is not the Messiah.

Seven — Seven is a lucky number. Seven is the name of a great film starring Brad Pitt. 7 For All Mankind makes one helluva pair of jeans. Seven is not the name of a baby girl. Not now. Not in 700 years.

Beautiful — Babies are beautiful. All babies. But when you give your daughter the name "Beautiful," aren't you already making it pretty obvious that you value physical appearances above all else?

Temperance — It seems cruel to give your daughter a name that will make her the butt of all jokes at every bar she visits in college. On the other hand, if that's the point, it's brilliant and you, wise parent, deserve a medal.

Skyy — "Sky" (one "Y") is beautiful. And could make a perfectly gorgeous name for a little girl. But "Skyy" with two Y's is a vodka brand. So, you can name your daughter after a mysterious, heavenly space or a bottle of booze. Your choice.

Princess/Royal/Treasure — Quite a few parents were either inspired by Kate Middleton's baby's birth or harbor fantasies about their daughter one day marrying into royalty. At this point I feel it important to note that Middleton named her baby Charlotte, and not Your Royal Highness You Will Bow To Me.

More from The Stir: Quiz: What's Your Perfect Baby Name?

And now the boys.

Cotton — The "fabric of our lives" is certainly a different choice for your little boy's name. I guess it could be worse: "Gauze" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Jettson — Could be because I'm a million years old, but this name immediately makes me hum, "Meet George Jetson..."

Jedi — Do you expect parents in a nation so obsessed with Star Wars we have given it a national holiday not to name their son Jedi?

Myking — You are bound to give your son a superiority complex if you name him Myking. You are also guaranteed to get a slow laugh out of every teacher he ever has as she/he slowly realizes during roll call that she'll have to bow each time she speaks to this little person in front of her.

Legendary — Talk about pressure. How can any child live up to a name like "Legendary?" Even Tom Brady who, balls aside, is considered a legendary football player by lots of people, is, at the end of the day, just a Tom.

Princecharles — Yep, written just like that — one word. And, with that, there are no words. Except, again, I feel the need to issue a reminder: The real Prince Charles' name is Charles. You child's should be, too.

What do you think of these names? 

 

Image via © iStock.com/bwancho

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