Daughter of Lesbian Moms Says Same-Sex Marriage Hurts Kids ​

gay marriage

A daughter of lesbian moms would obviously be pro gay marriage, right? Not according to Heather Barwick, who grew up with two moms but has recently come out against them tying the knot. In a letter titled "Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Hurting" in The Federalist, she explains why.


"Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage," she says in her letter. Only now, she's married to a man, has four kids, and is a children's right activist. And looking back on her own childhood now, she realizes she longed for a dad, but felt like her parents wouldn't listen.

"If we say we are hurting because we were raised by same-sex parents, we are either ignored or labeled a hater," she says.

More from The Stir: How Gay Marriage Affects Our Children's Health

I think it's true: Parents can have a hard time accepting when their kids take a stance that's different from their own -- particularly if that stance seems like a step backward from all that we've fought so hard to win, usually for their sakes!

For instance, I'm pro-choice, but if my daughter ended up pro-life, I'd probably flip -- especially if she gets pregnant in her teens. Or, if my daughter one day becomes a mom and decides to feed them formula rather than trying to breastfeed, I'll have to hard time biting my lip.

But I will try. Because after all, kids aren't our clones, or our slaves. They make their own choices, and it's our job to accept them even when we disagree. The more we do, the better able we are to see our kids not as kids, but as who they really are: people, just like us.

Have your kids disagreed with you on an important issue?


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