'Boyfriend Jeans' For Toddlers Make Me Want to Send My 4-Year-Old to a Nunnery

toddler in jeans

Toddler clothes have gotten so fashionable, my 4-year-old daughter looks far hipper than me ... still, though, I drew the line once I heard that Old Navy was now selling "boyfriend jeans" to toddlers. 'Scuse me? Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that toddlers should not have boyfriends, or pants that remind them of this possibility.

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"Boyfriend jeans," for those of you not in the know, are basically a cute way to say "loose-fitting," as if you'd borrowed them from your boyfriend. And while I'm all for my daughter wearing comfortable clothes, the "boyfriend" moniker is a huge, huge problem for me. Why? Where do I start?

Take a gander at Old Navy's latest ad:

old navy boyfriend jean

 

In an ideal world, my daughter will not have a boyfriend until she graduates high school. Or heck, even college. If I were religious, enrolling my daughter in a nunnery wouldn't be a bad idea. Because boyfriends are just bad news: First and foremost, they introduce the ghoulish specter of sex. They also get girls obsessed with their looks and relationships, rather than things that cultivate independence like friendships and good grades. Boyfriends, in short, send girls on a downward spiral toward Gossip Girl-style drama, insecurity, heartbreak, all in all nothing good.

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Silly me, I actually didn't think I'd have to worry about the "boyfriend" thing until my daughter was a teenager. So I was horrified when I heard it was a topic of much discussion at her preschool last year. While my daughter did not have a "boyfriend," thank God, many of the other 3-year-olds in her class did. Of course, they had no idea what "boyfriend" meant, but to me, it was the beginning of the end for them; the grooming had begun.

In my mind, the less my daughter thinks about boys the better ... so to have a pair of stupid pants from Old Navy plant that idea in her head really gets my knickers in a twist. "Boyfriend jeans" may be fine for grownups, who know it's just a cute name, but toddlers take things so literally, and are so impressionable, that "boyfriend jeans" just beg too many questions: What is a boyfriend? Who is my boyfriend? Do these jeans actually belong to him?

To me, it's not too much of a stretch to envision my toddler stripping off her pants and handing them to a boy in class saying, "Colin, these must be yours."

I sure hope Old Navy pulls these products before it starts giving toddlers the wrong idea. All I can say is thank God my daughter prefers to wear tights.

Would you let your toddler daughter wear "boyfriend jeans?"

Image via Paul Rich Studio/shutterstock; Old Navy

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