Store Stocks '50 Shades of Grey' Sex Toys Right Beside Kids' Toothbrushes

50 shades toys at target

Toothpaste, Goldfish crackers, toilet bowl cleaner, socks, Fifty Shades "Yours and Mine" Vibrating Silicone Love Ring, dog food ... Oh, did you hear? They're selling Fifty Shades of Grey-themed sex toys at Target. Which is fantastic! 

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Because as a busy mom, I don't have time to make a second stop at the sex toy store for my vibrating love ring -- said no mother ever. Wow, good thing most kids have no idea what a "love" ring is. Because if there's one thing I always bring with me to Target, it's definitely my KID.

Yes, Target is here to meet all of your needs. Even those of us with "singular" tastes! It's all here, between the tampons and the mouthwash: The "Official Pleasure Collection" of S&M-inspired sex toys tied to the movie. They've come out with that vibrating ring and a "No Peeking Soft Twin Blindfold Set."

Hopefully your kids aren't very curious or observant, because oh dear:

CHECK THIS OUT, CHILDREN WHO NEED TOOTHBRUSHES! Sleeping masks for Mommy and Daddy's special Sunday naptime. Shh!

Supposedly the Target stores that carry the Fifty Shades merch are stocking it over with the other grownup stuff (condoms and lubes, which you probably purchase on those rare occasions when you're there without the kids). But apparently not everyone got that memo.

Sex toys at Target are just the beginning. Thanks to the movie, we're getting ads on TV and the radio and freakin' everywhere. Kids are asking questions. Parents are squirming. How do we explain around this one?

"The other night after the ad aired, my son asked me, 'What's in that guy's secret room anyway?'" confessed Sheri R., a mom of two. "Of course, he assumed DEAD BODIES and I was tempted to just let him think that rather than explain." Another mom, Julie, hears the ad on the radio all the time -- while driving with her two kids in the car. "You should have overheard me trying to explain to my kids the other day ......... uh."

It's like women all over the country are being "punished" for their Fifty Shades enthusiasm. Now we're finding ourselves forced to talk about sex with our kids more than we're comfortable with. Maybe that's a good thing for some families? But mostly, it's just yet more sexual information for us to figure out how to interpret and filter for our children. 

But to tell you the truth, I worry less about the exposure of naughty toys to kids and more about how banal kink is becoming. It's everywhere, which makes it less special and forbidden. I wonder, does having sex toys next to the kids' toothpaste make them less exciting for the adults to play with?

How do you feel about Target carrying Fifty Shades-themed sex toys at its stores?

 

Image via Target

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