Absent-Minded Dad Packs Drugs in His Child’s Lunch

toddler joint lunch boxI'm feeling a little guilty this morning after packing my toddler's lunchbox for pre-school. First, I packed spaghetti and meatballs with cheese on top and his school is kosher-ish. Then his snacks were kind of lame as I included a cheese stick and his favorite Snapea Crisps, which have about as much to do with snap peas as I have to do with following the school lunch guidelines on a crazed day like today.

But you know what? I'm still way ahead of this guy, who totally packed a joint in his toddler's lunch.


Listen, I've been there. I have a picky toddler too, and have resorted to all kinds of things to improve that kid's appetite. While I've never really thought about giving him some maryjane, maybe this dad was just trying to help the kid's teachers get some food into his little tummy. Except that the dad admitted to accidentally dropping his joint into his 18-month-old's lunchbox when he was packing a PB & J.

How does that happen, exactly? I'm picturing the doobie dangling from dad's lip. He's distracted, trying to get the kid out the door before his crazy day at work, he can't quite remember to light the joint, so it's comically hanging on by a thread, and then the dog barks/milk man knocks loudly/car alarm goes off, and he turns quickly, and the joint falls into the Toy Story 3 lunchbox. And we all know what comes next! A teacher finds it and hilarity ensues. Or, you know, CPS is called and dad is carted off to jail. Either/or.

So the next time you feel bad about packing Oreos into your pre-schooler's lunchbox, just remember this harried dad, and feel proud that you aren't putting your child's health and well-being at risk simply by being a dumbass.

What's the worst thing you've ever packed in your kid's lunchbox?


Image via Sam Howzit/Flickr

Read More >