Mom Who Snapped & Beat Child to Death Doesn't Deserve Our Sympathy

Shelby Dasher
Shelby Dasher
Earlier this week, Shelby Dasher beat her toddler son, Tyler, to death, then took his body to a graveyard and left him there. The 20-year-old from Missouri said she did so because he "wouldn't stop crying or lie down."

Horrifying and too many kinds of awful to even contemplate, but making it even worse is the fact that she's been charged with second-degree murder instead of first. Prosecutor Bob McColloch told ABC that the reason is because it wasn't deliberate. "It's the difference between hot-blooded and cold-blooded murder," he said.

While I'm no legal expert, such reasoning seems an injustice to this poor, innocent child who will never take another breath. Because when it comes to parenthood, we must premeditate how we will act in times of crisis, how we will deal with the most frustrating, unbelievably exhausting situations anyone could ever imagine. We have to, because undoubtedly they're going to happen, and snapping -- like this woman did -- is not option.

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The other day was "one of those days" with my daughter ... we've had a lot of them lately. There was a tantrum on the floor in the middle of a grocery store aisle, ear-piercing wails for the entire 10,000-mile 2-mile ride home from the store when she didn't get the balloon she wanted, and more than one liquid substance deliberately dumped all over the floor. Add to that the fact that she won't use her extensive vocabulary but will only speak in wolf language and respond when you refer to her as "baby wolf," and I had HAD it. Whatever the last naughty thing she did (there were too many to remember specifically) set me over the edge, and I was at my limit. I knew I just had to walk away from her before I started screaming uncontrollably. My calming method: Music, which I turned up as loud as my ears could handle.

She found me a few minutes later and (breaking out of wolf speak for a few blessed minutes) said, "Mommy are you frustrated?" "Yes, Lila Claire, mommy is very frustrated with the way you have been acting today. We need to learn that we don't always get what we want ..."

Then in all her 2-year-old wisdom she said, "Mommy after you go to bed, you'll wake up and you won't be frustrated." And she was right.

The point is we all get frustrated. SO frustrated when it comes to our children. And while we can't predict the madness, we've got to think ahead to what we'll do when we get to that point. Can we safely put them in their room, shut the door, and breathe for five minutes? Is there a relative or neighbor we can call when we need to vent or escape? Or is there a chocolate bar in the back of the refrigerator we have just in case? We all need something. It may not always make everything right, but hopefully it can help prevent things from going horribly, horribly wrong like in this case.

The law may give her a break due to technicalities, but Shelby Dasher doesn't deserve any sympathy just because she didn't plan to kill her child. She killed him plain and simple, and the fact that she didn't supposedly think before she did it makes it even worse in some ways.

Do you think this woman should get any sympathy because she didn't premeditate her son's murder?


Image via KTVI

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