Psycho Man Uses Machete to Teach Neighborhood Kids a Lesson

MacheteWe’ve all got a stance on whether an adult should spare the rod and spoil the child. Some of us choose to spank, some of us prefer to scold. But I’m pretty sure we can all agree on this — wielding a machete when trying to get your point across to a kid is a sure sign that the light in your attic doesn’t come all the way on.

That should’ve been obvious from the get-go for anybody who’s crossed footpaths with Marion County, Florida maniac Michael David Huhn. But some local kids, perceptive as kids may be about some things, just didn’t pick up on his nutjob vibe when he offered to give them cans of soda if they’d do him a little solid: flatten the beer cans that were piled in his front yard. Mmm. Two words: class-sy.


Now who would expect such a genteel fella to not be a man of his word? But as it turned out, Huhn didn’t want to pay up with the pop after the kids smashed his recyclables as instructed. Instead, he tried to scrimp by forking over just one soda, ostensibly for them all to sip, sip, pass.

When his underage work crew confronted him for shortchanging them, Huhn responded first by punching a 13-year-old boy in the face, then pulling out a giant knife and slashing a 10-year-old girl in the knee. Fortunately, she only suffered a small cut but that bama could’ve done some serious damage to the poor child. 

Apparently nothing gives a stone cold crazy man the feeling of instant power like brandishing a piece of jungle weaponry against a little girl barely old enough to cross the street by herself. Score one for your manhood, Sir Michael.

I don't know what kind of relationship their parents had with this dude, but this right here is exactly why we need to keep stressing to our kids to err on the side of caution when it comes to talking to and helping out strangers, sad as that may sound. 

Charged with aggravated battery using a deadly weapon and child abuse — rightfully so — Huhn is now being punished for his stupidity. And his cheapness. Had the dunce just paid up on the soda, this whole melee could’ve all been avoided.

Do you allow your children to interact with people in your neighborhood or do you maintain a strict “don’t talk to strangers and everyone is a stranger” mantra? 

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