Child Found Chewing on Shockingly Vile Object at Playground

biohazardEwwww. Why, why must toddlers put everything in their mouths?? And I mean everything. I know there's one dad in particular out there who would really love to know the answer to that question: The dad whose 2-and-a-half-year-old daughter found a rather horrifying item on the playground to chew on: A used condom.

I know, I know! It's so gross, so unbelievably gross. You're probably fighting back the urge to go scrub out your own child's mouth with atomic strength antibacterial soap right now, and she's just sitting there chewing on some perfectly germ-free animal crackers.

The thing is, awful as this story may be, it doesn't particularly surprise me.


Fortunately neither one of my children ever used a pathogen-riddled choking hazard as a teething ring at the playground (or anywhere else, for that matter). But we were lucky, because I certainly have seen used condoms on the ground at the park. And yes, I said condoms, plural, because that's happened on more than one occasion.

I've even seen worse. (Or at least "as bad.")

Once at a usually-clean playground about a mile downwind of a hospital, a friend and I were pushing our kids on the swings when a plastic bag marked BIOHAZARD blew past our feet.

We hightailed it outta there. If there's one thing you don't want to see kicking around a place where little kids play, it's medical waste. Followed closely by crack pipes, half-empty bottles of booze, and firearms.

It's a sad commentary on ... society, I guess. Do hospitals have so much trash that they can't keep track of it? Why are playgrounds such a popular spot for sex, and why can't people at least toss their condoms in the garbage can?

I don't know. The frustrating thing is, little kids are always going to indiscriminately chew on whatever they can get their hands on, and discourteous teenagers are, apparently, always going to leave their used rubbers on the ground.

Which means that, yes, we'll always have to watch our toddlers like hawks. Sigh.

What's the worst thing your toddler ever put in her mouth?


Image via Kevin Lawver/Flickr

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