Moms Freaking Out Over 'Vulgar' Ice Cream Need to Chill

girl ice creamA memo to the moms who are freaking out about Ben & Jerry's naming their latest ice cream after the eternally funny Saturday Night Live skit Schweddy Balls: Lighten up, will ya? Come on, people. Not only is it ice cream, it's Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Do you really think your kid is contemplating the subtext of the name Half Baked when he's slurping down a cone or reminiscing about his favorite jam band while digging into a bowl of Phish Food?

No. Because, as a mom, I can tell you that double entendres and risqué references are lost on little kids. Whoosh! Right over their heads. Unless you decide to explain the context of a given term, they're not gonna get it (and even if you do explain, they still might not grasp what you're talking about). So to all the mothers who are steamed enough to melt a tub of Chunky Monkey, Schweddy Balls is NOT "vulgar."

It's ice cream!


This reminds me of the time my kids and I were out for Chinese food and they got curious about the astrology-themed place-mats. Of course both of them were dying to figure out which animals corresponded to their birth years (I was born in the Year of the Dragon, which they thought was pretty cool).

My daughter turned out to be a snake. My son, however, who was about 4 years old at the time, was born in the Year of the Rooster -- or, as the place-mat put it, the Year of the Cock.

Instantly, my older daughter burst out laughing. My son, on the other hand? Didn't have the slightest idea what was so funny.

"What's a cock?"

"Same thing as a rooster," I told him.

"Yeah, but ... " My daughter nearly spilled the beans, but I gave her one of those Don't You Dare looks and she clammed up.

Until later, when, out of my earshot, she schooled him on the varied uses of the word. Then my son thought it was beyond hilarious.

Anyway, my point is this: Kids aren't going to find Schweddy Balls more suggestive than sausage or tart or cherry pie or any other word that, to them, still has just one definition: Food.

Do you think the moms who are boycotting Schweddy Balls need to relax?


Image via Tommy Wong/Flickr

Read More >