7 Things 'Jem & the Holograms' Fans Will Be Outraged to See Missing in New Trailer (VIDEO)

new jem vs. old jemIf you, like me, were a kid in the '80s who grew up watching the "truly outrageous" cartoon series Jem & the Holograms, chances are you've been shaking your fist at your computer all morning. Or it's only a matter of time before you're going to be! Because Hollywood -- which, these days, would prefer to recycle and mess with classics vs. embrace originality -- has stomped all over our beloved Jem for an upcoming live-action adaptation.

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Judging from the trailer, which debuted yesterday and has already prompted mucho backlash, it's a very, very loose adaptation. In other words, nothing you likely loved about the original -- with the exception of Jem's pink hair and awesome '80s makeup -- is anywhere to be found in this frustrating "update," due in theaters in October.

Steel yourself for the tragic trailer ...

More from The Stir: 'Jem & the Holograms' Brings Outrageous '80s to Today's Girls (VIDEO)

Let's discuss, shall we? Here, seven amazing, memorable aspects of the cartoon that this new flick somehow failed to include.  

1. Synergy - The A.I. computer and hologram projector that doubled as a synthesizer was built by Jerrica's dad and basically set all the wheels in motion for Jem. But apparently, in 2015, all that kickass technology has been reduced to ... a regular ol' laptop and YouTube? Snoooozefest.

synergy

2. The red star earrings - What young Jem fan didn't want those flashing, star-shaped red earrings that were linked to Synergy and had special micro-projectors in them that would allow Jerrica to turn into Jem? Looks like there's a brief nod to them around 1:57 of the trailer, accompanied by a token "Showtime, Synergy!" But being that you can't even see the earrings, and there's no Synergy, it's a fail. Not to mention that it feels totally out of place in the midst of all this Nicholas Sparks-grade melodrama and utter lack of magic.

Jerrica earrings into jem

earrings jem

3. Actual holograms - Why on earth is this band called Jem and the Holograms if there are no holograms? In the cartoon, Synergy created holograms and Jem could project images around her, which she would use in many cases as a distraction if her cover was about to be blown or to protect herself and her friends from danger.

3. The Misfits - Now, we don't have actual proof that the live-action film will leave the antagonistic chick band out completely, but there's no trace of them in the trailer. And seeing the Holograms kick Pizzazz & Co.'s butts was one of the best parts of the cartoon.

4. The Starlight Foundation - It appears that Jerrica is an orphan in this version, but ... where's the Starlight Foundation, which probably inspired tons of little girls to get involved in philanthropic activities?!

5. The fact that Jerrica was a BOSS - Jerrica ran the Starlight Foundation and was co-owner of Starlight Music along with Kimber. They weren't being run by a record label that happened to hear them online. They ran themselves.

6. Kimber's bright red hair - Come on, man. Hair was a MANE event in the '80s, and Kimber is NOT Kimber without her signature red mane!

7. A female superhero - So, let's get this straight ... Hollywood can make a flick like Scott Pilgrim about a regular Joe-turned-superhero, but when adapting a cartoon about a female one, she has all of her magic stripped away and becomes a regular teen whose only "power" is fame at the hands of a record label and Juliette Lewis. Lame.

All in all, looks like the show's over, Synergy, before it even began. Way to be "truly outrageous," new Jem flick -- as in outrageously disappointing.

Now, so as not to be totally bummed out, let's go out on a good note ... and watch the real deal in action.

What do you think about the new trailer? What did you love most about the original show?

 

Images via Universal & Hasbro/Marvel

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