The 20 Types of ‘Fifty Shades’ Fans – Which One Are You?

fifty shades of grey christian grey anastasia steeleMaybe you read the book, saw the movie, and follow all the rumors on the sequel. Or you've possibly managed to avoid all Fifty Shades of Grey related news (hey, how heavy is that rock you're under?). But wherever you fall on the Grey fan spectrum, everyone is some type of enthusiast.

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You're one of these, know one of these, and most definitely have run into one of these, but these types of Fifty Shades fans have come out of the woodwork since the trilogy's release.

And now that we're all eagerly awaiting the news on Fifty Shades Darker, you will definitely start to see these 20 types of fans:

  1. The one who bought their movie ticket in December when they first went on sale, immediately organized a girls' night out, and declared Valentine's Day a non-holiday in 2015. 
  2. The one who's read it three billion times, saw the movie back-to-back, can quote lines from Ana's "inner goddess," and knows exactly how Chrisian's mercurial mood can switch.
  3. The one who bought the e-book because bringing a hardcover copy on the subway was just too much nope.
  4. The one who would never admit she's read or watched it and hides her copy deep, deep, in the nightstand.

    More from The Stir: Beyond Christian & Anastasia: 20 'Fifty Shades' Inspired Baby Names

  5. The one who continues to write Robert Pattinson-as-Christian Grey fan fiction. Because he is the one true Christian and sorry, Charlie Hunnam and Jamie Dornan, but I don't think so.
  6. The one whose love-hate relationship with the trilogy means that they can't stop talking about Darker while gleefully bashing EL James' heinous writing.
  7. The one who thinks it's silly and fun, and refuses to take any of it too seriously.
  8. The one who bought the Ben Wa balls. Don't lie, ladies. At the very least, you googled them.
  9. The one who uses it as a way to brag about her own sex life. "OMG, remember when Christian and Ana had sex with the ice cubes? Well, there was this one time when I..."
  10. The one who picketed at the theater and banned their book club from ever considering the erotic read.
  11. The one who keeps insisting that Hunnam is way hotter than Dornan. Girl, time to move on.
  12. The one who uses it as a sex guidebook. Ask her about the tampon scene. We dare you.
  13. The one who got a special makeover to look just like Ana. Bangs, doe-shaped eye contouring, and one-size-too-big cardigan, included.

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  14. The one whose Tinder bio reads, "Just an Ana, looking for my Christian." Swipe me right, baby.
  15. The one who still can't deal with the fact that Ian Somerhalder didn't get role.
  16. The previously sexually-timid one who has since had an awakening. Also, the host of your sex toy parties.
  17. The one who highlighted passages to reference/try later. We all re-read that elevator kiss scene, ees ok!
  18. The one who is now Dakota Johnson's biggest fan. #WCW all day, every day!
  19. The one who thinks it deserves a Pulitzer. BRB, starting the campaign now.
  20. The one who is now expecting a November baby. Too real? Don't deny it.

What type of fan are you?

 

Image via Chuck Zlotnick/Universal Pictures and Focus Features

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