'Fifty Shades of Grey' Fans Can Now Sleep With Christian (Sort Of)

For Fifty Shades of Grey fans who get hot and bothered by Christian and Anastasia's antics in the book trilogy, the idea of spending the night with the bondage-loving billionaire is probably something they thought only dreams were made of ... until now.

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You heard me, now for the low, low price of $89.99 (plus shipping and handling), anyone can sleep with Christian Grey ... in teddy bear form that is.

Yes, folks, Vermont Teddy Bear Company has gone where no other toy company has dared with a Fifty Shades of Grey Christian Grey bear, outfitted in a sharp suit, handcuffs, and mask. And, boy, does he look dapper.

If someone had told me a company would be marketing a Christian Grey teddy, I would assume it was of the lingerie variety. But a bear? This feels like Fifty Shades merch may have jumped the shark. Cute, cuddly, and gimmicky? Sure. But it just feels ... wrong.

It's not going to take long before someone accidentally gifts it to a kid or little Johnny and Amy Sue start asking mommy what the bear is doing with handcuffs and a mask (undercover cop during Mardi Gras would be my best stab at a cover-up). The subject also seems like a stretch for the relatively conservative image of the Vermont Teddy Bear company.

Fifty Shades wine? Pour me a glass. Fifty Shades jewelry? Handcuff earrings aren't my thing but I'm cool if they're someone else's. This bear thing simply has me thrown for a loop. But will they sell a gazillion of these little guys? Probably. Or at least the 10,000 they have in stock.

Will you buy a Fifty Shades of Grey teddy bear?


Images via Universal Pictures and Focus Features and Vermont Teddy Bear Company

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