4 Reasons to Be Scared if Your Husband’s Reading '50 Shades of Grey'

Fifty Shades of GreyWhen my husband told me he wanted to read Fifty Shades of Grey, I must have shot him a funny look because he started to get defensive. "What!? Everyone else has read it!" he told me.

Fair enough. I read all three books in E.L. James' erotic trilogy during our family vacation to Georgia in April. Now they're just sitting in the Nook app on my iPad waiting for me to call them up for reference for an article. It's not like he'd be interrupting me or anything.

And yet ...


I have to admit it, I was a little uneasy about it all. It's not like we don't have sex (notice I write for CafeMOM folks ... we do have a child). But Fifty Shades isn't just any book about sex. Behold:

1. All those orgasms. OK, really, people, that is not natural! Women cannot DO that. At least not most women. If he starts thinking that's the norm ... let's just say an "I'm sorry honey, but it ain't gonna happen" right now!

2. All that sex. As I read the books, I had two thoughts running through my head. One of them? How can people have that much sex and still hold down jobs? If he thinks we could try to ape an Ana and Christian sex schedule, he's going to have another think coming because I have a kid to feed, a job to do, and a house to keep clean!

3. The "romance." I'm not going to lie: when you have been married as long as we have, you kind of miss the romance of the early days. But if he's looking for tips, he could pick up your average romcom. I'd much prefer a few flowers to someone telling me what I can eat and what car I can drive, thankyouverymuch!

4. The cheese factor. I read a LOT! And my husband does too, but we don't have the same tastes. He sticks to a lot of sports blogs, soccer magazines, etc. while I'm pretty eclectic. If he's going to pick something I have read lately, how about a memoir, one of the classics, SOMETHING that shows I actually exercise my brain when I'm reading!

Has your guy read Fifty Shades of Grey? How did it work out?


Image by Jeanne Sager

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