Disney's 3D Release of 4 Classic Movies Is a Terrible Idea

Great news, everyone! For those of you who have terrible memories of how flat, boring, and visually uninspired Disney movies were the first time you saw them, Walt Disney Studios has announced they're re-releasing four of its animated titles—Beauty and the Beast, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., and The Little Mermaid—in THREE GLORIOUS DIMENSIONS.

That's right, friends, all of these classic Disney titles are being released in 3D. Finally someone is bringing that necessary extra dimension to a much-hated collection of movies that has bored children throughout the ages. Boy, I can't tell you how often I've suffered through a Disney film, thinking to myself, if only I had a migraine-inducing pair of plastic glasses perched on my face, I would enjoy this so much more!

Plus, who wouldn't jump at the chance to pay a premium ticket price for a moviegoing experience that is decidedly sub-optimal? OH BOY.


Okay, in case it's not incredibly obvious by now, I'm being sarcastic. I wouldn't say I'm as vehemently anti-3D as Roger Ebert—I did, after all, love the 3D version of Avatar—but I can't believe Disney is going to take these amazing movies and convert them from 2D to 3D. As James Cameron said about the difference between developing specifically for 3D and converting after the fact,

They’re expecting the same result, when in fact they will probably work against the adoption of 3D because they’ll be putting out an inferior product.

Hell, even Transformers director Michael Bay is opposed to the expensive post-production conversion process of making a 3D movie from a 2D film:

Right now, it looks like fake 3D, with layers that are very apparent. You go to the screening room, you are hoping to be thrilled, and you’re thinking, huh, this kind of sucks. People can say whatever they want about my movies, but they are technically precise, and if this isn’t going to be excellent, I don’t want to do it. 

Plus, it's disappointing that Disney is willing to trot all these titles back out again instead of putting their efforts into new movies. Even considering how popular they were the first time around (Beauty and the Beast was the first animated film to be nominated for an Oscar for best picture, and Finding Nemo was the fourth-highest-grossing animated movie of all time), I feel like they've had their time. Call me Andy Rooney over here, but I don't want the classics to be gussied up with new technology.

So why are they doing this? Two syllables: ka-ching. The Lion King 3D earned $80 million in the U.S. in the last three and a half weeks, so clearly they're excited by the prospect of making mad bank from four other well-loved titles.

Too bad the studios can't focus on coming up with exciting new worlds instead of patching cosmetic enhancements on the ones that already exist. The prospect of milking more cash from already-proven films is just one more reason we're going to continue seeing a decline in Hollywood creativity and risk-taking. To me, that's even worse than the idea of watching a beloved Disney movie from behind a pair of uncomfortable glasses.

What do you think about Disney's upcoming 3D re-releases?

Image via IMDB

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