POSTS WITH TAG: turn-ons

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    Let's talk yoga. No, not like magazine cover yoga, real person yoga.

    I'm a chubby girl. I'm not a born yogi by nature, one of those slender ballerina types who is so graceful it's kind of disgusting. That said, I love the rush I get from exercise...allll exercise. Yes, 'exercise' here includes doing the nasty. Mind your chakras, y'all -- it's about to get sexy up in here!

    Yoga leads to better sex. It makes sense! Yoga is all about existing in the moment. It's about being limber and present in your body. In other words, doing yoga = daaaayyyyum girl, check that swirl! I want that! And if I've got to log a few extra sessions being wobbling and sweaty and insecure alongside some Natalie Portman-type clone in exchange for the best sex of my life, I am totally okay with that.

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    Relationships are better off when the man is older. With a certain few exceptions -- notably, every Real Housewives star ever -- he is usually the less intelligent and mature one at the same age. He is probably better able to provide at an older age, too, if that's important to her. (Luckily for me, it's not very important to my wife!)

    The reason it happens anyway is because we will always find our biggest dating successes with younger women. In our early 30s, they're like mail-order brides just grateful to have escaped Eastern Europe. There's no talk about children or how we intend to provide. All we need to do to impress them is not live with our parents.

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    These days, there isn't much two-way action I can count on. But a while back, after dating my wife for about a year, a three-way came shockingly within reach.

    Playboy assigned me a story about how kinky you can get your girlfriend to go. And, believe me, being on assignment from Playboy gives you tons of excuses you never otherwise get.

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    I recently went on my first date since my marriage ended last spring. It was also my first official date since I was 18 -- over a dozen years ago. Dating at almost 31, as it turns out, is much different than dating as teenager. You’re shocked, I know.

    It was a blind date, and the guy was nice and all, but I probably won’t go on a second date with him. No particular reason -- he was cute (very pretty eyes), established in his career (lawyer), and we shared similar backgrounds (turns out we both went to the same small private university) -- but there wasn’t really anything there that made me feel like I couldn’t wait to see him again.

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    There is no question that Idris Elba is one of the sexiest stars in Hollywood. Actually, let's correct that. He's one of the hottest men in the world. THE WORLD. So when he talks about his personal life, we rabid fans usually perk up and listen. However, his latest sex confession is a bit on the strange side. Warning, this is NSFW.

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    Here's one woman who may have taken the idea "once you find a good guy, you don't let him go" a little too far. After meeting and chatting with Ben at a bar in Virginia right before Christmas, Courtney left with friends without providing him with a way to contact her. No worries. The gutsy girl vowed to find him by posting 60 "missing" fliers around town, which included her phone number. Crazy romantic ... or just flat-out crazy? 

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    Ah, the great penis size debate. Whether you think length matters or not, men are always going to have their own goods -- and, apparently, those belonging to every other man in the country -- on the brain. One condom company decided to take this issue more seriously by tracking the number of people in each state who purchased their small, large, and elephantine-sized condoms (I made that up, I have no clue what they call condoms made for absurdly well-endowed men). The results are ... odd. And totally unpredictable. 

    But just in case you're in the process of looking to relocate, you may want to keep this list in mind. Here are the top 10 states where men with the biggest penises reside.

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    When you're in a long-term relationship, and especially when you have children, it can be easy to forget that there was a time you actually enjoyed greeting your love at the door with a steak and a handmade card -- just because. We know how important it is to maintain a romantic connection, and most of us certainly appreciate it when we're handed a bouquet of flowers on a random Wednesday. 

    Consider this sweet note -- more like a booklet, really -- created by one wife for her husband as a reminder that we should all break out markers and crayons once in awhile and express our love in the purest way possible. In other words, there's no need to shell out hundreds of dollars. A simple card and some adorable stick-figure cartoons were enough to bring tears to this husband and dad's eyes

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    When you live in cramped quarters -- which basically means any apartment building in any city you can think of -- you get used to hearing many sounds made, mostly unknowingly, by your neighbors. You can listen to them argue. You hear them flush their toilets while you apply your makeup in the bathroom. When they have loud parties, which I hope for you only happens around the holidays, you grin and bear it because lord knows your friends are anything but quiet after a few cocktails.

    But one woman in Chicago decided enough was enough after having to hear her awesome and sexually satisfied neighbor do the deed a little too loudly. So she did something that has never worked for any person living in any apartment ever and left a nasty note on her door. And it didn't end there. 

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    I'm single. It's partially my own fault (I'm stubborn and exacting and terrified) and partially not. I don't often sit around bemoaning my fate and eating pints of ice cream. I mean, I totally sit around eating pints of ice cream, just minus the bemoaning part. I have a life, and outside of the rare hormone-driven meltdown, I like it quite a lot.

    My laptop is a huge part of this life I lead. I'm not ashamed to admit that it's very often the first thing my bleary-eyed self sees upon waking. I maybe even coo at it, "Hello lover." This is because I co-sleep with my laptop. It's cool, we don't spoon or anything and it doesn't have its own side of the bed ... but let's be real -- it's usually on the right. Somewhere between turning 18 and now being 30, my laptop has wound up being the most serious and fulfilling relationship I've ever been in. Sure, one day soon I'll be dating someone again, but my laptop -- he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.

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