POSTS WITH TAG: single moms

  • 28 +SHARE

    I've just passed the two-year anniversary of separating from my husband. Two years ago I was in a very scary place. I knew I was making the right decision, but I didn't know what my future looked like or how long I'd feel so awful. What a relief to be on the other side! If my 2014 self could visit my 2012 self for a little pep talk and some advice, this is what I'd tell myself about surviving my first year as a single mom.

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    Ah, dating. Can't I just skip this whole dating thing and settle in with a nice, normal boyfriend who thinks I'm pretty and enjoys my cooking? No? I have to go through the rigmarole of getting to know guys on awkward first dates and deciding to move on or, worse (!), dealing with the unrequited crush when I'm not his cup of tequila? No? Damn.

    Occassionally, a date makes a confession on a first date that crosses him off my list almost immediately. Like the time this one guy admitted that he liked to smoke pot. A lot. To each their own, I guess, but I'm pretty sure I don't want a pot-head boyfriend.

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    When it comes to love and marriage, millennials, which is what we call those young, spry folks between the ages of 18 and 33, are choosing not to drink that particular, delicious flavor of Kool-Aid. Instead, almost half -- 47 percent -- of millennial women who had babies in 2012 did it without a wedding ring on their finger. Just to give you an idea of how significant a change that is from the generation that preceded it, 35 percent of Generation X moms raised children unmarried when they were that age.

    So, why the loss of interest in getting married and raising a family? Many point to the fact that economic issues are getting in the way of tying the knot. Many millennials say they want to get married, but don't feel financially secure enough to do so. Maybe we can look at the fact that most are less religious than young adults were in the past. Whatever the reason: is it such a bad thing that young women are taking charge of their desires to have babies without the help of husbands?

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    This article was written by Sophie Rosen of

    Being a single mother almost always means a life spent racing the clock. Our days often begin well before dawn and extend long past sundown. In between, our schedules are filled with the rigors and challenges of balancing career, child rearing, and homemaking.

    An evening spent with a great guy is something I know I always look forward to. But what guys think is a dating hot spot may be, for a single mom, a surefire dating not-not.

    Here are 5 places never to take a single mom on a first date.

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    Dating is rough, man. Well, sometimes it’s really good, but dang it if it doesn’t suck when that guy you thought you totally connected with doesn’t seem to return the feeling. Or maybe you’re getting along just fine, but then he says or does something that immediately snaps you to attention -- and not in a good way.

    Fact of the matter is that if you’re dating after divorce, you’ve got baggage. It’s hard to go from a supposedly lifelong committed relationship to dinner with someone you met online, texted a couple of times, and maybe had a phone conversation or two with. It’s exciting, yes, but it can also be nerve-wracking as all get out.

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    I’ve recently jumped back into the dating pool after a dozen or so years of kicking it on the sidelines, and I’ve already discovered that I have a major preference in the “what I’m looking for in a man” department. I’d like him to have failed at marriage too.

    OK, I know that sounds weird, but hear me out. I never knew how fragile marriage was before mine went down in flames. I didn’t understand people who got divorced and in fact often joked that the secret to staying married was to not get divorced.

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    Since I got married when I was basically a fetus (19), then spent the entirety of my 20s being someone’s wife, I’m a little rusty on the dating thing. Not to mention that dating at 18 is a little bit different than dating at 31 with two kids.

    So yeah, I have baggage now, but you know what I don’t have? Teenage angst. I’m older and wiser, as evidenced by the wrinkle between my eyes that’s begging for Botox, but that’s another story for another time. Anyway, dating when I was a moody teen was not fun, and this time I’m determined to not take myself too seriously, and just enjoy meeting new people.

    Who knows? Maybe I’ll even meet one worth keeping around.

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    Could it be that former Bachelorette Emily Maynard has finally found true love and is really ready to settle down? Looks like it -- at least judging from all the details surrounding this week's newsflash that she's engaged to hometown sweetheart Tyler Johnson! (Yup, that makes this the fourth time Ricki's mama's been betrothed.)

    Emily talked to Us about how he popped the question, and it sounds like their engagement was everything she's been waiting and hoping for. Tyler reportedly got down on one knee with five diamond-studded bands instead of a more traditional rock, which was perfect by Emily, who said, "I've had enough engagement rings."

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  • 138 +SHARE

    I recently went on my first date since my marriage ended last spring. It was also my first official date since I was 18 -- over a dozen years ago. Dating at almost 31, as it turns out, is much different than dating as teenager. You’re shocked, I know.

    It was a blind date, and the guy was nice and all, but I probably won’t go on a second date with him. No particular reason -- he was cute (very pretty eyes), established in his career (lawyer), and we shared similar backgrounds (turns out we both went to the same small private university) -- but there wasn’t really anything there that made me feel like I couldn’t wait to see him again.

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    I did it you guys. I survived my very first post-separation Christmas, and I only cried in front of people twice! Hey, that’s pretty good. And in all fairness, one of those times was because nobody saved me any caramelized onion and feta tartlets. I take my food pretty seriously.

    Everyone says the first one is the roughest. Who this Everyone is, I have no idea, but Everyone always thinks they’re right. They might be. I don’t know yet, this is my first Christmas since 2000 without my soon-to-be-ex-husband by my side.

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