POSTS WITH TAG: sex

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    It happens every time -- just when you've had a few too many salty fries and you are left feeling uncomfortably bloated and blimp-like, your man wants to get it on.

    What's a gal to do? Say "yes" but try to keep her Spanx on during sex? Put the kibosh on the whole carnal idea? Stop eating fries forever (because when are men not in the mood)?

    These questions are common and, according to sex columnist Michael Alvear, author of Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat: How to Stop Worrying About Your Body and Have Great Sex, 50 percent of women have them, too. In fact, chances are you have turned down sex because you were having a fat day

    It's sad because sex is fun, and what's more? You are wrong about your body size. Oh yes. You, too. 

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    Dori, the author, at the same age as her daughter nowIf I had a dollar for all the times I’d heard mention of how the father of a newborn daughter is going to have to get a shotgun to someday ward off the boys -- I’d be a zillionaire.

    It’s almost as if there’s this programmed script we can’t let go of that dictates the desire in us to keep our daughters pure, virginal, and untouched by any kind of sexual encounter.

    My 16-year-old daughter, who looks like a cross between Sofia Vergara and Lana Del Rey, would beg to differ. And I would fully support her on this.

    More from The Stir: Sofia Vergara Celebrates a Big Birthday

    I don’t know about you, but the last time I looked, the Victorian age was over. What on earth is it about daughters that make us assume that we should want their potential suitors dead?

    I, for one, feel differently.

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    As someone who writes about sex and love for a living, I have heard a lot of advice on how to keep the passion alive over the years. One of the first things almost every sex expert will say is that you should continue to masturbate. It seems counter-intuitive, right?

    If you are pleasing yourself, why would you need someone else? Au contraire, they say. In this case, it's more about the feelings masturbation conjures. If you have a little pleasure, so they say, you will want more.

    I say: It's hooey.

    Why? Because the fact is, when you satisfy yourself, you ARE satisfied. Full stop. This is a lesson I learned the hard way.

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    We all have sex dealbreakers! For most women, it doesn't take much for us to decide sex is just NOT going to happen. Whether your husband's stinky feet have you kickin' him to the couch or a date's political beliefs have you kickin' him to the curb, guys -- for better or worse -- run the risk of turning us off for a night or forever! And it's really no surprise.

    After all, though men and women reportedly have at least 237 sexual motivations, women's reasons for having sex tend to be much more varied than men's -- from curing a migraine to getting their partners to take out the trash, according to David M. Buss and Cindy M. Meston, Ph.D.s and authors of Why Women Have Sex.

    So it stands to reason that we have just as many -- or more! -- excuses not to jump into bed with our men.

    Let's be honest: Everyone has them. We asked that 12 women reveal their own sex dealbreakers. Just wait 'til you see what they said!

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    You'd think that by living in a post-Sex and the City world, the idea that women are just as sexual as men wouldn't be met nearly so often with absolute shock and awe. But here we go again! A new study has found that -- gulp -- women watch porn, too! What's more, women are at as much risk as men for porn addiction, according to a new study published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking. You don't say!

    Researchers at Duisburg-Essen University in Germany say anyone -- aka men and women -- who watches porn regularly runs the risk of psychological dependency. Which of course is no good, because hello, sex with another human is way better and healthier than being hung-up on all the unrealistic images and messages of porn.

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    Sex. We talk about it and think about it far more than we actually do it. And that's a damn shame. Especially for those of us who sleep next to our partners every night and it still doesn't happen. What can we say? We are tired, have children, jobs, and busy lives.

    That's no excuse. Enter the sex drawer.

    We all have one, right? Er, maybe not ALL of us, OK. But I know I do. And most women I know do as well. It's the little drawer in your nightstand that is full of all your goodies. At times, mine has contained handcuffs, flavored "treats," my dream journal (it's not ALL about sex), various pieces of erotica, and, of course, some toys. Having it close at hand is just more conducive to having a good time.

    So what should be in every woman's bedside sex drawer? We talked to Claire Cavanah, Babeland co-founder and co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, to get her best tips for must-have sex drawer essentials -- and we added in some of our own, too.

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    Ask a man what kind of sex tips they'd give women if they could, and wow. Is it me, or is it getting hot in here? We've been gathering (mostly) anonymous suggestions from men and the bottom line is, they want everyone to enjoy themselves. But you want more specific details than that, right? It's not always easy for us to tell our partners exactly what we want. And I can't promise your man wants everything on this list. But I think most of these tips will work for most couples. Here's what men would love more women to do in bed.

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    When it comes to (cough, cough) intimate lubrication, I think we all want to be careful about whatever we're using. After all, this is a substance we're using with our most delicate parts. Of course, most of us create our own natural lubrication -- more or less. But sometimes it falls in the "less" category and you need some reinforcement. There's plenty of slick substances out there. But what if you want to avoid petroleum-based products?

    No worries -- there's a growing number of more "natural" intimate lubrication options, whether that's water-based or homemade lubes. Nothing is as natural as what you produce, but these are the next best thing.

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    If you're like most women, you're probably at least a bit curious about role-play in the bedroom -- acting out sexy scenarios with your spouse. Stacey Burton, CEO of CouplesChemistry.com, says that according to her research, 71 percent of wives describe their relationships as "traditional," but 82 percent say they're interested in getting "kinky" with their husbands. And almost all women say they'd like a sexual relationship that's "experimental and surprising."

    It's just that we're not talking about it. No matter how open our communication, a lot of us have fantasies we haven't shared with our spouses ... yet. But maybe it's time we did? We tapped three experts to explain how role-play works, how to get started, and how to make it fun and fulfilling.

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    I admit that back in the day, I got quite a thrill out of one-night stands. There was something hot about meeting someone and hooking up with absolutely no strings attached.

    Well, maybe it's because I'm older now, and I'm a mom, or just more sexually experienced. But these days the idea of a one-night stand completely turns me off. Grosses me out, even.

    Lest you think I'm a prude or a fuddy duddy, allow me to explain why I like to keep my sexual activity within the confines of a relationship of some kind.

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