Oh now, you didn't think I was a big old prude just because I have a list of sexy things I ditched since having kids? I did write a sex book for parents, mind you, so I haven't joined a convent or anything.

So if you thought your sex life was suddenly over after having children, THINK AGAIN! Here are seven sexy things I do more of now that I'm a mom. Rowr.

The Big O. There's nothing better than an incredible orgasm to relax, rejuvenate, and revive you after a long day of work. But what happens when sex becomes ... dull? Same position, different day. How can you get out of your rut? What are some easy ways to spice up your sex life?

Simple! Amazing new sex positions that don't require a trapeze artist! Read on for the secret to a mind-blowing orgasm ...

I love the idea of New Year's resolutions, so much so that I make them dutifully every year. Get in shape! Get organized!

Get LAID? 

Yep, that's right. I even make sexual resolutions.

So, if you're like me and want to put a little fun back into your relationship, here are 10 sexy New Year's resolutions that should definitely be on your list.

As much as I love getting gifts from my husband, I really don't need another sweater coat, which seems to be his go-to present for me.

So this year, especially since we're in marriage counseling, I thought it  might be fun for us to get a couple's gift, and one that we'll get lots of use out of ... in the bedroom.

If you're like me and would much prefer awesome sex over an awesome sweater, then take note of these 5 sexy gifts for couples. Even better, you can give some of them in front of the kids and grandparents and they'll never know.

It really shouldn't surprise me by now that you can sign up for sex lessons from bona fide porn stars in San Francisco to learn tips and tricks for how to get your jollies and pleasure your mate. After all, this is the 50 Shades of Grey era, when people openly read erotica in public, and Harvard officially recognizes a BDSM club as a campus group.

But there’s just such an aura of "ick" surrounding the idea. It sounds like a bad sitcom plot in which one of the main male characters gets tricked into a compromising position against his will. "They told me it was going to be an educational class!" he unwittingly will tell his wife after being caught with a porn star.

It seems like since the '70s "full bush" went out of favor, women have been searching for new and exciting ways to deck out their vaginas. From vajazzling to Brazilian waxing, nothing is too wild or crazy for our lady bits.

One of the newest fads is what's called a hood piercing, which is absolutely one of the most interesting and controversial things that a woman can do down there.

Have you ever been on a slingshot ride? I've always been way too terrified of trying one of those deadly-looking reverse-bungee spring-propulsion whatchamacallits that hurls you about fifty zillion feet into the air at the approximate speed of sound, but according to several intriguing YouTube videos, I might be missing out on a seriously good thing. Because there's something about the experience brought on by at least one of those nightmarish contraptions that's giving women orgasms left and right.

I honestly and truly have no idea how I stumbled onto this bizarre little corner of YouTube, but there are all kinds of videos depicting various women having a special sort of fun on the Sling Shot Malta ride in St. George's Bay, Malta. As in ... the ride seemed to give them a happy ending. If you know what I mean and I think you do.

Don't believe me? Well, turn down your speakers and take a look at the (fully clothed, but NSFW audio) action:

It's about damn time, y'all! For years, men have had Viagra. Women have Fifty Shades of Grey. Or those gel lubricants. Not quite the same! But now a pharmaceutical company may have the answer to our sexually frustrated prayers. And, no, it's not Christian Grey in pill form. It's a testosterone nasal gel. A couple of sniffs and you're good to go. All ... night ... long. Let's hear more about this, shall we? Ohhhh yesss, we shall ...