POSTS WITH TAG: living together

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    How confused are we when it comes to our relationships? Well, according to this infographic on Americans' Weird Habits, we're more in love with our phones than each other, we're sleeping with cats and dogs, and we don't know when we're on a date. Oh wait -- I forgot the part about how we all have assigned seating in our homes. Are we really this messed up about our love lives?

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    First come loves, then comes...marriage? Not usually. Today most couples live together before they decide to tie the knot. They do this for all sorts of reasons, and while love might be one of them, others are a little well, less romantic..

    A study conducted by Rent.com found that of the 27% of couples who moved in with their partner after dating for less than six months, only 7% would tell others to do the same. To state the obvious, that's because living with another person is challenging. If you are about to hand over your spare set of keys in perpetuity, here are some things you need to talk about if you want your relationship to survive.

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    Relationships are better off when the man is older. With a certain few exceptions -- notably, every Real Housewives star ever -- he is usually the less intelligent and mature one at the same age. He is probably better able to provide at an older age, too, if that's important to her. (Luckily for me, it's not very important to my wife!)

    The reason it happens anyway is because we will always find our biggest dating successes with younger women. In our early 30s, they're like mail-order brides just grateful to have escaped Eastern Europe. There's no talk about children or how we intend to provide. All we need to do to impress them is not live with our parents.

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    When you're first married, you don't want to let him out of your sight. It's not that you don't trust him; he's just so dang cute, and you're just soooo in lurv. Ladies, been there, done that, still have his t-shirt that I slept in. But I'm going to let you in on a little old married lady secret: there are a lot of things you need to be doing without your husband.

    Sure, you're married now, and two became one and all that jazz, but honey, you are still you! And the sooner you get used to telling him you'd rather fly solo on this one, the sooner you realize you can have your cake and eat it too.

    Not sure what I'm talking about? Let's dive in, shall we?

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    We come across lots of studies that reveal just what it takes to make a marriage last and what will surely send us running to our lawyers -- as if there's a magical marriage equation and you just throw in a little logic and the right moves and POOF -- you got yourself a divorce-proof union. We all know relationships aren't so black or white, but just for the sake of trying to make sense of this mystical "till death do us part" vow, here's another revelation for you to chew on: a new study says the best predictor of divorce isn't whether you lived with your honey before getting married -- as many originally thought -- but how old you were when you moved your toothbrush next to his. If you were older than 23, congrats! Looks like you will be together forever. If you were a fresh-faced 22-year-old, well, the stats aren't on your side, I'm afraid.

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    I can't go on living this lie. I cheat on my wife. Every single day.

    All she wants to do when she finishes a hard slog at work is kick off her heels and watch her favorite shows with me. And so do I. But I've already seen them. So I have to pretend that I haven't.

    You see, while my wife is out supporting my ass, I'm home all day. (Our daughter attends daycare three days a week.) Pretending that all this great TV is not waiting there on the DVR and Netflix works for a while. But there's only so much pretend job-hunting, pretend cleaning, and real Facebooking a man can do on an average (non) workday.

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    Gah. It certainly took them long enough, but now that they're hitched, Sean Lowe and Catherine (Giudici) Lowe are finally moving in together. Yep. They're back in Dallas after spending a lovely honeymoon in Bora Bora. For the time being, they're holed up in Sean's bachelor pad -- which I guess is a step up from the room Catherine was occupying at a friend's house before the wedding.

    At least now she can call the place her own, right? Well, sort of. Sean told People, "It's a total dude place that I used to love but it's not meant for a newlywed couple."

    Ahh, yes. A "dude" place. And that's why it shouldn't come as a surprise that Catherine and Sean are not planning on making his pad their permanent home.

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    Most nights, after we put our daughter to bed, my husband and I collapse on the couch and spend the next two hours chatting about random nonsense. We talk about our day, rip into the lollipops we hide from our toddler in our secret candy cabinet, and try to get through an episode of Justified without falling asleep. It's a really nice way to cap off what are almost always stressful days filled with work and mommy and daddy duties. But our nights aren't what you'd call "productive," and they certainly don't allow for much-needed me time (or, in my husband's case, him time). It's usually really easy for us to distract one another when we have something to work on at night because we really do enjoy each other's company and have a blast just making each other laugh. That's why a couple's fight is often just what the doctor ordered. 

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    It's not that my husband and I try to keep it confidential, but it's something we won't bring up unless asked ... We're a bit embarrassed and frustrated by our "dirty" little secret. But maybe we shouldn't be, because it's something that 25 percent of people are doing and supposedly 80 percent of Americans approve of ... I'm talking about how we, as 30-something newlyweds, are technically "boomerang kids," living at home.

    See, my husband was a homeowner prior to and right on the brink of the '08 crash. After that, we moved into an apartment together for four years. But when we got engaged, our insane neighbors were driving us nuts, and when we couldn't find another place we felt comfortable with before our lease was up, we moved in with my husband's mom. It would only be for a month or two, we said. But then we thought about how we could save for the wedding and future if we weren't paying exorbitant rent elsewhere. So, two months turned into six, and now, a year and a half.

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    As much as a husband tries to do the right thing in marriage -- and we do lots of the time -- it's a wife's job to make sure he can never pat himself on the back for it. Between his good intentions and the results of putting them into action lie the conundrums on every husband's can't-win list.

    Do any of my entries ring familiar?

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