POSTS WITH TAG: divorce

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    We've all heard the unnerving stat that one out of every two marriages today ends in divorce, and many divorcing families include children. With this reality comes the need for many moms to sit their kids down and discuss exactly what the "D-word" means for the family.

    "All good moms want their children to be happy and successful and worry that their children will have another obstacle to overcome," notes family therapist Julie Gowthorpe, PhD, RSW. "Parents should remember that it is the disruption of the divorce that causes the most stress, and therefore, efforts should be made to support children through the process." The best way to do that, of course, is by talking about it.

    Here, 5 expert tips for tackling the tough topic with your kids in the best, most sensitive and productive way.

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    "Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass," said author Mary Kay Blakely. She's right. Not only is divorce painful, it can also be incredibly complicated.

    And what that means is that it's a breeding ground for mistakes. So many terrible, long-lasting, devastating, regrettable mistakes are made because we're on an emotional roller coaster, or because the legal process is messy, or both.

    "It's what I call the 'divorce paradox,'" says divorce lawyer Rebecca Zung, author of Breaking Free: A Step-By-Step Divorce Guide to Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Freedom. "In the worst emotional trauma, you have to make the most critical decisions of your life."

    Wondering about all the ways women can go wrong when their marriages end? We've got the scoop on the biggest divorce secrets and fails by someone who's seen it all.

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    Just when you thought selfies couldn't get more personal, one Florida couple is celebrating not their union, but their divorce by sharing a self-portrait posed with the decree that dissolves their three-year marriage.

    From their enormous grins, you'd never suspect that Michelle Knight and Keith Hinson of Orlando were calling it quits. But sometimes, as this beaming duo proves, knowing when to say when is cause for jubilation. 

    Not long ago a friend of mine told me she was getting a divorce after more than a decade of marriage. When I told her I was so sorry to hear that, she said, "Don't be. I'm thrilled. I've wanted this for a while. Trust me, it's a good thing."

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    We may joke about being addicted to Candy Crush. But one man is so fed up with his wife's smartphone gaming addiction, he's divorcing her over it. It's not so much about how much gaming she does -- it's about all the other things she's not doing while she's on her smartphone. Apparently this stay-at-home mom has let everything go. Everything. So the husband filed for divorce, like any concerned, caring husband would do.

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    In my own personal experience, the suckiest part of going through a divorce is figuring out co-parenting. Obviously things got so bad with the husband that there was no way to work it out, but instead of being able to walk away, I still have to talk to him. We have to compromise and agree on things, which, let's face it -- we sucked at, or we wouldn't have split.

    Maybe I should just take psychologist Penelope Leach to a custody hearing and have her explain to the judge that my kids need to be with me all the time and have no overnight visits with their dad -- because that's what's best for them.

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    If you want to look on the bright side of divorce -- once you're able to process it and get to a good place in your head -- you have the chance to fall in love all over again. This is a tidbit my friend (also divorced) told me when I was first going through it. It's never easy, and in the beginning you think you will never get married again. But sometimes you meet another someone special, and that new love helps you overcome any negative thoughts you had on getting hitched again.

    Still, re-marrying when you have children comes with a whole new set of things to consider this time around.

    "Adding a new spouse or significant relationship drastically changes the dynamic" between you and your ex, especially when it comes to raising the kids, said Lindsay Camandona, a divorce lawyer at McKinley Irvin.

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    When a marriage ends, there isn't usually one thing that does it. Usually it's a long time in coming. Years and years of problems finally come to a head, and the couple ultimately decides to call it quits.

    But what are the signs you have reached that point of no return?

    "People are often under the misconception that if their relationship is really 'right,' it should not feel difficult or challenging," says Elizabeth Sullivan, a marriage and family therapist based in San Francisco. "This is not true. Difficult feelings or a period of stuckness do not mean your marriage is over."

    Anyone who has been married for any amount of time knows that. There are good days and bad days. Eventually there are good years and bad years. 

    But when can we be sure that our relationship is really and truly beyond saving? How do we know when to cut our losses and call our lawyers? Here are 5 signs a marriage is really over:

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    Several years ago, I was out at a winery with my then-husband, when a gaggle of 30-something ladies burst out of a limo and managed to walk in their heels and wedges and tight dresses and tiaras and saunter their way to the bar. I assumed bachelorette party, but was saddened and dismayed to discover it was a divorce party.

    Now that I'm tentatively planning my own divorce party, my view on the matter has changed a bit, to say the least. In fact, when I told a good friend at the time about it, she told me, "Honey, finding the strength to leave a bad marriage is a cause for celebration."

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    There are times, while you're in the middle of a divorce, when you feel so alone. You'll lie awake at night, feeling your deep, terrifying, heartbroken feelings and wondering how long before you feel "normal" again, whatever that is. It's at those moments when it's most helpful to know that other women (and men) have been there, felt those same feelings, and come out all right. That's why I love these 9 quotes about divorce -- they're funny and true and, above all else, they let you know that there is life after the big split and you are going to be okay.

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    There are a lot of reasons marriages come to an end: adultery, addiction, and lies are all common causes. However this may be a first: a woman has asked her husband of six years for a divorce because he doesn't like the Disney flick Frozen. You read that right.

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