POSTS WITH TAG: divorce

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    In my own personal experience, the suckiest part of going through a divorce is figuring out co-parenting. Obviously things got so bad with the husband that there was no way to work it out, but instead of being able to walk away, I still have to talk to him. We have to compromise and agree on things, which, let's face it -- we sucked at, or we wouldn't have split.

    Maybe I should just take psychologist Penelope Leach to a custody hearing and have her explain to the judge that my kids need to be with me all the time and have no overnight visits with their dad -- because that's what's best for them.

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    If you want to look on the bright side of divorce -- once you're able to process it and get to a good place in your head -- you have the chance to fall in love all over again. This is a tidbit my friend (also divorced) told me when I was first going through it. It's never easy, and in the beginning you think you will never get married again. But sometimes you meet another someone special, and that new love helps you overcome any negative thoughts you had on getting hitched again.

    Still, re-marrying when you have children comes with a whole new set of things to consider this time around.

    "Adding a new spouse or significant relationship drastically changes the dynamic" between you and your ex, especially when it comes to raising the kids, said Lindsay Camandona, a divorce lawyer at McKinley Irvin.

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    When a marriage ends, there isn't usually one thing that does it. Usually it's a long time in coming. Years and years of problems finally come to a head, and the couple ultimately decides to call it quits.

    But what are the signs you have reached that point of no return?

    "People are often under the misconception that if their relationship is really 'right,' it should not feel difficult or challenging," says Elizabeth Sullivan, a marriage and family therapist based in San Francisco. "This is not true. Difficult feelings or a period of stuckness do not mean your marriage is over."

    Anyone who has been married for any amount of time knows that. There are good days and bad days. Eventually there are good years and bad years. 

    But when can we be sure that our relationship is really and truly beyond saving? How do we know when to cut our losses and call our lawyers? Here are 5 signs a marriage is really over:

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    Several years ago, I was out at a winery with my then-husband, when a gaggle of 30-something ladies burst out of a limo and managed to walk in their heels and wedges and tight dresses and tiaras and saunter their way to the bar. I assumed bachelorette party, but was saddened and dismayed to discover it was a divorce party.

    Now that I'm tentatively planning my own divorce party, my view on the matter has changed a bit, to say the least. In fact, when I told a good friend at the time about it, she told me, "Honey, finding the strength to leave a bad marriage is a cause for celebration."

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    There are times, while you're in the middle of a divorce, when you feel so alone. You'll lie awake at night, feeling your deep, terrifying, heartbroken feelings and wondering how long before you feel "normal" again, whatever that is. It's at those moments when it's most helpful to know that other women (and men) have been there, felt those same feelings, and come out all right. That's why I love these 9 quotes about divorce -- they're funny and true and, above all else, they let you know that there is life after the big split and you are going to be okay.

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    There are a lot of reasons marriages come to an end: adultery, addiction, and lies are all common causes. However this may be a first: a woman has asked her husband of six years for a divorce because he doesn't like the Disney flick Frozen. You read that right.

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    Last week for my birthday, I received many sweet wishes from friends and family. But one call completely disarmed me: The one from my mother-in-law. I should say former mother-in-law, since I'm going through a divorce. I've left her youngest (and possibly dearest) son, and she still called me up to wish me a happy birthday. It was one of those moments you just don't expect, and it hit me: You may divorce a person, but you don't necessarily divorce a whole family. Not if you -- and they -- don't want to.

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    I've just passed the two-year anniversary of separating from my husband. Two years ago I was in a very scary place. I knew I was making the right decision, but I didn't know what my future looked like or how long I'd feel so awful. What a relief to be on the other side! If my 2014 self could visit my 2012 self for a little pep talk and some advice, this is what I'd tell myself about surviving my first year as a single mom.

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    Unfortunately, failure and setback are part of every person's journey through this life. No way around it. Gotta go through it. 

    However, just because you're experiencing a personal setback of sorts -- whether it's a breakup, a divorce, job loss, financial pitfalls, or just hard times in general -- it doesn't mean you are forever doomed to live beneath the pile of tissues and twisted sheets and dirty laundry you've buried yourself under. The setback is just where you are right this minute. It's not where you will always be. 

    So c'mon. Try to straighten your body out of fetal position. Maybe even lift a few of those snotty, tear-soaked tissues and walk them to the wastebasket. There you go. That's it. Baby steps. Baby steps to your very own comeback. Girl, it's gonna get better! And here are 13 inspiring quotes to light your way.

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    Dating after divorce is tricky. If you haven't been divorced yourself, you might worry that dating a someone who has means dating someone with baggage. Well newsflash -- we've all got baggage, that's just part of being human. If you've gone through a split yourself, you might worry that you both have been too badly burned before to give love the second shot it so rightly deserves.

    It's natural to be full of trepidation. But when you really look at it, dating a divorced man is in many respects, an easier and better experience in the long run than dating a single guy who has never tied the knot before.

    While it's true that dating is rife with challenges no matter which way you slice it, spending time with one of these fellas actually has a lot of benefits. We spoke to a relationship expert and came up with a list of why dating a divorced man is one of the best things you can do to help your love-life! 

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