POSTS WITH TAG: dating mom

  • 30 +SHARE

    Ah, dating. Can't I just skip this whole dating thing and settle in with a nice, normal boyfriend who thinks I'm pretty and enjoys my cooking? No? I have to go through the rigmarole of getting to know guys on awkward first dates and deciding to move on or, worse (!), dealing with the unrequited crush when I'm not his cup of tequila? No? Damn.

    Occassionally, a date makes a confession on a first date that crosses him off my list almost immediately. Like the time this one guy admitted that he liked to smoke pot. A lot. To each their own, I guess, but I'm pretty sure I don't want a pot-head boyfriend.

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    Can I tell you a happy dating story? I feel like we hear a lot of dating horror stories. And believe me, there's a couple reasons for that. First of all, they're more entertaining. Secondly, we share those stories as cautionary tales to warn each other of the dangers and douche bags -- helpful especially to us single moms who are dating after years of being off the shelf. When I started dating again after 16 (zoiks!) years of marriage I felt prepared for every worst-case scenario a guy could possibly throw at me. What I wasn't prepared for was for so much to go ... right.

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    This article was written by Sophie Rosen of DivorcedMoms.com.

    Being a single mother almost always means a life spent racing the clock. Our days often begin well before dawn and extend long past sundown. In between, our schedules are filled with the rigors and challenges of balancing career, child rearing, and homemaking.

    An evening spent with a great guy is something I know I always look forward to. But what guys think is a dating hot spot may be, for a single mom, a surefire dating not-not.

    Here are 5 places never to take a single mom on a first date.

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  • 11 +SHARE

    To say that the dating world has changed in the last dozen or so years since I’ve been in it is an understatement. Back in the day (in the year 2001), the majority of people would look at you askance if you mentioned that you were going on a date with someone you met on the Internet.

    Nowadays, conversations between singles go something like this …

    “I have a date tonight!”“Where’d you meet him?”“Match -- of course.”

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    Researchers have found the key to a woman's heart. It's not the promise of flowers, jewelry, or even romantic date nights. The one thing that makes a man irresistible to us? A pronoun. Apparently men who use the word "whom" when they speak are more desirable. According to a statistical study published in Wired magazine, these guys get 31 percent more contacts from women through their online dating profiles.

    But I have to question if that really makes a man more click-worthy? The ladies here at The Stir are certainly skeptical. Here are the words and phrases we think will actually get a woman excited to connect with a guy.

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    Dating is rough, man. Well, sometimes it’s really good, but dang it if it doesn’t suck when that guy you thought you totally connected with doesn’t seem to return the feeling. Or maybe you’re getting along just fine, but then he says or does something that immediately snaps you to attention -- and not in a good way.

    Fact of the matter is that if you’re dating after divorce, you’ve got baggage. It’s hard to go from a supposedly lifelong committed relationship to dinner with someone you met online, texted a couple of times, and maybe had a phone conversation or two with. It’s exciting, yes, but it can also be nerve-wracking as all get out.

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  • 18 +SHARE

    I’ve recently jumped back into the dating pool after a dozen or so years of kicking it on the sidelines, and I’ve already discovered that I have a major preference in the “what I’m looking for in a man” department. I’d like him to have failed at marriage too.

    OK, I know that sounds weird, but hear me out. I never knew how fragile marriage was before mine went down in flames. I didn’t understand people who got divorced and in fact often joked that the secret to staying married was to not get divorced.

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  • 12 +SHARE

    Everyone has an opinion about everything. And when you're getting divorced, those opinions about everything are something everyone wants to bestow upon you. Do this. Don't do that. Make sure you absolutely don't do that. Never do that. You must do this. There are experts out there -- experts on you and what you should do. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. And one of the toughest topics out there with steadfast critics is the one about when to introduce your kids to your boyfriend.

    Everyone's involved in this decision whether you want them to be or not. Your family. Your kids. The ex. I think it's better to introduce the kids to your boyfriend right away.

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  • 9 +SHARE

    Since I got married when I was basically a fetus (19), then spent the entirety of my 20s being someone’s wife, I’m a little rusty on the dating thing. Not to mention that dating at 18 is a little bit different than dating at 31 with two kids.

    So yeah, I have baggage now, but you know what I don’t have? Teenage angst. I’m older and wiser, as evidenced by the wrinkle between my eyes that’s begging for Botox, but that’s another story for another time. Anyway, dating when I was a moody teen was not fun, and this time I’m determined to not take myself too seriously, and just enjoy meeting new people.

    Who knows? Maybe I’ll even meet one worth keeping around.

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  • 9 +SHARE

    It’s rough to start dating again after a divorce. You’ve been off the market for so long, you don’t even know what’s out there anymore. I mean, what’s even left on the shelves these days? Are there any good ones left, or have they all coupled off already?

    Like my mom says, it only takes one, but dang if you don’t have to do some fishing to find the one. Besides, it’s probably a good idea to date around a little bit after you split from a long-term relationship, and not jump directly into another serious commitment. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but some are more likely to nibble at the divorcee hook.

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