Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

17

infidelityI was cheated on once, that I know of. I'll spare us both the details of this painful memory, but it involved a post-college boyfriend, his co-worker who I considered a "friend," and a raid on his apartment where I actually caught the denying little b*****d in the act.

Suffice it to say he's long gone. And today I'm totally thrilled that it happened. I'm with the man of my dreams, a handsome, passionate, sensitive and supportive husband and father.

Still, it's very upsetting to know how common cheating is -- if you read the post in Advice for Moms on men who cheat you'll understand. There are so many dawgs out there, yet moms have different feelings about cheaters and whether or not it's wise to take one back.

After being through it once, I'm on the same page as MAyers. My Darling Husband, consider yourself warned ...

"I have been cheated on by six boyfriends," she says. "My husband is the one that hasn't cheated on me. He knows how I feel about it, and if I ever caught him, he wouldn't see me again until we were in court deciding who gets what."

How do you feel about cheating? Would you or did you take him back? Has he behaved so far?

relationships, sex life

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pagirl71 pagirl71

I truely believe once a cheater always one. My dad cheated on my mom the whole 37 years of marriage and at her deather confessed to the kids of his wrong doings. Yeah dad we already knew. There were many times I wished mom would just walk away but I guess she had her reasons for staying. Me I swore I would never be with a cheater and that's why my ex is my ex. Sure I had my faults in the marriage so it's not all him but honeslty he's on his 4 wife. So enough said.

Growi... Growing2Fast

From what I've seen over the past 38yrs of my life, a person that doesn't have the moral standard within them selves to refrain from cheating on a partner once, usually doesn't acquire that virtue later on in life.  I'm not saying it never happens, but it's rare.

bethxox bethxox

I was, in the past, "a cheater" but finding someone right for me completely stopped the behavior.  I have found myself being a serial cheater in certain relationships and 100% committed in others.. so I really don't think it's as cut and dry as we'd like to think.

kayla... kaylajean86

My DH went through a hard depression and he was drinking 24/7 for 5 days! he finally broke down and told me he cheated.  I needed to help him before we could help us.  We got through his depression and we went to counseling and we got through it together and now we are as happy as ever! and we don't drink anymore lol. 


So i say a cheater is always a cheater...sometimes...i would say it depends on the guy

ladys... ladysylpher

Once a cheater, always a cheater. My dad has been cheating on my mom for most of their 47 yrs of marriage together.  Most of it we find is on the computer, not physical stuff like in the past but still. He says he is in love with this other woman and he never should of married my mom. 4 out of us 5 kids have totally disowned him. They are in there 70's!! He says he is a Christian and sends me stuff, trys to convert me all the time. Hes just a big hypocrit who deserves a lot of bad things.


I myself have never been cheated on, thank heavens!!!


and some of our friends are involved in some drama about old cheating and now thinking about cheating again. urgh. Nobody is ever faithful and its hard to trust. I am so lucky I found my husband!!


 

djm2008 djm2008

I was married to a cheater.  And he has cheated on everyone since me.  So..my answer is yes.

mizstre mizstre

I USE TO THINK ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER BUT NOW I SAY IT'S ALL DEPEND IF THAT PERSON REALLY FIND THAT RIGHT PERSON HE REALLY WANT TO BE WITH. I WAS CHEATED ON AND LEFT HIM BUT WE ENDED UP GETTING BACK TOGETHER AND BEEN HAPPY EVERY SINCE.HE REALIZE THAT IT'S ALOT I WON'T PUT UP WITH AND HE HAVE A DAMN GOOD WOMAN THAT HE DON'T WANT TO LOOSE CAUSE ONCE I'M GONE AGAIN IT'S FOREVER. DONT GET ME WRONG CUZ THE MEMORY ARE STILL THERE BUT I DID FORGIVE HIM. I JUST KEEP MY EYES OPEN WIDER BUT TRY TO LEAVE IT IN THE PAST AND WORK ON OUR FUTURE TOGETHER.

RanaA... RanaAurora

Once a cheater, always a cheater is a ridiculous excuse people come up with for choosing undedicated people.
People can cheat, and completely change.  If you just always assume that someone who has cheated once, especially on someone else, is going to cheat on anyone, you don't really know much psychology.  Often, it has everything to do with the CURRENT relationship.  You CAN have someone who has cheated on 3 girlfriends, because they weren't serious relationships to him... and then have him find someone he actually LOVES and never have cheating even cross his mind.

dreyamom dreyamom

I think it depends on the reason behind the cheater. I am a strong believer that any person can change their lifestyle like drug addiction, sex addiction, or criminal behavior, even adultery.  I myself was a cheater six years ago in a previous relationship and felt like a dirt bag for what I did.  I decided to change my life and have been in a monogamous relationship ever sense.

DreaK... DreaKevAiyana

I totally agree with RanaAurora.  My husband and I both cheated in previous relationships, but I can honestly say neither of us has ever wanted to cheat....because we have it so good with each other :)!

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