Did You Live with Your Partner Before Marriage?

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This was the question posed by Loved4Sure in the Newcomers Club. Loved4Sure didn't live with her husband until two months before getting married.


She wrote:

"When I met my husband I had just moved to New Jersey from NYC. I had an awesome job offer I couldn't resist and the move made sense. So, for five long years my husband and I crossed three bridges and suffered through what was sometimes a two-hour drive (normally 40 minutes) to see each other as often as possible.

I loved him, but I love my job too. Until it was closer to our actual wedding day I really didn't want to leave my the job I had grown to love so very much. So we didn't live together until it was almost time for our wedding. I don't regret the decision at all. It helped me feel like I was truly a newly wed, even though we had been together almost five years at the time we were married."

I have some friends in New York who move in with their significant others simply to save money on rent and others who believe that they must live together to know if marriage would even work. My parents won't even let me sleep in the same bedroom when I bring my boyfriend home! It's been drilled into my head that I can't live with my partner until I'm married -- it'll kill the romance.

The San Francisco Chronicle recently reported that according to the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth, the majority of Americans now live together before getting married. Of couples married after 1995, 65 percent of men and women in first-time marriages lived together beforehand. And, new data suggest that when someone cohabits only with a future spouse, divorce rates are the same or lower than if they didn't live together before marriage. So who's to say what works best?

Do you think it's better for a relationship to live together before marriage? How long did you live with your partner before sealing the deal?


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