His Top 10 Secret Sex Wishes


Redbook polled about 5,000 married men and then 5,000 married women to find out the secrets of their sex lives.

One flattering result: More than half the men say they lust after their spouses as much as they did when they met. Some want their wives even more than they used to.

What goes on inside male brains? Here is what Redbook found out about his top 10 secret sex wishes.

Enthusiasm. Three things here: He wants us to like having sex with him. He'd go ape wild if we initiated sex more often. And he would like a little more sponteneity and a little less convenient sex. (Sorry, DH. I admit that sometimes I schedule it.)

Variety. Try something new. Pick up a new sex book and read it together. Laugh and make jokes while you do it. Try out some wacky sex positions. Do any little or big thing to change things up every other month.

Adventure. Be very, very naughty. Some ideas from Redbook: X-rated videos, rest-room quickies, playful spankings. What's a good fantasy? How can you play it out in light-hearted but adventurous ways?

Generosity. I think this means he wants us to give him more oral sex. Women reported that they'd like a little more of that, too.

Authenticity. Faking orgasms is a no-no. Making like you're having fun when you're not is another unsexy thing to do. Speak up, tell him what you want and like. He'll love you long time for it.

Attention. Make time to bond, not just in bed but at other times, too. Talk when the kids go to bed. Watch a TV show together. Make a glass of tea or maybe vodka every once and a while when the house is quiet. (Vodka is better than Lost this season anyway.)

Courage. Talk openly if one of you wants more sex than the other. Reach a compromise. Then talk about it again soon. The person who gets rejected--and it can be the man or the woman who wants it more--feels badly if you don't talk. And definitely just take those clothes off and do it whenever you can.

Confidence. This is the sexiest--and cheapest--thing you can wear to bed. Own that body of yours. Own what you can do with it. If you work it, he will enjoy the ride.

Physical Attraction. He's not worried about what you weight. He just wants you to maybe not wear those sweat pants so often. Believe him when he says you're beautiful and sexy. And, hey, it doesn't hurt to have sexy hair, too.

Get Away. Can you go on a second honeymoon? Me neither. But maybe you can spring for a sitter and get a hotel room. You just need a getaway--however big or small--everyone once and a while to reconnect. And to have great sex.

What do you need more of in bed?

aging, emotional health, healthy habits, obgyn, sex life, stress, time for you


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

bagjmama bagjmama

There is something to be said for getting a hotel room just to have sex with your hubby!  It's a refreshing and liberating change and I can't wait till DH and I can do it again!

madam... madamekatekate

Mine can be awful lazy, God bless 'em.

He would be thrilled to death if I did EVERYTHING and he could just lay there and take it, lmao.

I could use more oral myself. He doesn't much care to do it evidently...But if I can suck it up (forgive the pun) and give him a blow job whenever, I think he could try a it harder to reciprocate.


Judes... JudesMomma

I 100% agree with everything madamekatekate said.  I felt like I was reading something that I wrote myself!!

g-manae g-manae

I would love it if this all worked.  I have talked to my husband about more sex, once or twice a month is NOT enough for me.  He works seconds (12 hr. shifts) and I work firsts alot of times putting in 10 hr. days.  On his days off he sits and plays football or war games on the computer until the middle of the night.  It is hard for him to go to bed when I do since it is way to early (around 11) all he does is lay there tossing and turning. 

All I ask is that he come to bed, make love then he can get back up and do whatever.  99% of the time I go to bed alone.  During most of our conversations about having sex we both end up laughing.  Probably because we know it won't happen. 



nonmember avatar c.sibley


1-5 of 5 comments