What really turns women on? Is it really all those qualities we're fed as being attractive? You know the usual suspects: a wide-toothed grin, captivating eyes, a sparky sense of humor, bulging muscles, smarts, the ability to look jaw-droppingly handsome in a crisp, collared shirt. Those are the obvious things that get us hot and bothered, right? Sure. But maybe not exclusively ...
Because while those may be what makes a man sexy on the surface, it's a different ball game once he's your husband. As I settle into life as an "old" -- okay, older -- 30-something married lady, I've opened my eyes to a new kind of turn-on which has very little to do with my husband resembling a rom-com's dashing lead and more to do with him resembling ... a dad.
More specifically, my husband changed his very first diaper recently. And I have to tell you, it was oddly ... hot.
Some quick background: He and I been married for about a year but together for a lot longer. And because we're pretty much the opposite of the Duggars (meaning we don't plan on having 19 kids), trying for a baby is a still a way off.
Still, becoming parents is very much in our sight line, and what's more: My husband genuinely adores kids, and they adore him. His enthusiasm has made it easy to see him as husband material ever since we first started dating. But just this past week, he took his child care skills to a whole new level, proving what dad material he is, too.
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It all happened on a recent visit to my brother and sister-in-law's place. My husband ended up babysitting our 5- and 2-year-old nieces solo for the first time.
Several hours later, he called me and reported how it went.
"We were just playing in the living room, and at one point, I got a whiff of something stinky ... so I asked her, 'Did you make a poop?'" he told me later on the phone.
"NO!" the toddler apparently shouted. So he waited a few minutes and tried again.
"Do you need a fresh diaper?" he asked her gently, to which she admitted she did "with a big laugh."
And with that, my husband proceeded to change a toddler's poopy diaper. I asked if our older niece helped him.
"Nope!" he replied triumphantly, though he did get a tip to use some baby powder from the little one, but that was it. Like the kids would say, he did it all ... by ... himself! What's more, he did it without so much as a slight grimace.
Whoa, I thought. This just got real! He's not only a good-time Charlie to the girls anymore. He's actually willing and able to do the dirty work of a parent. How ... sexy!
Wait, what? But it was true: The rush of admiration, pride, love, and warm fuzzies I got from hearing his story caught me off-guard.
Sure, for years, I've loved watching him play peekaboo with the girls or toss them into the air as they giggle and shout, "More, more, more!"
Our friends' kids follow him around like he's the whole cast of Frozen, Dora the Explorer, and Doc McStuffins rolled into one. He's not just a doting uncle. My brother- and sister-in-law will playfully say that my husband is their kids' Favorite Person Ever of All Time. A superhero. This is something we just about all accept as a rule in our family.
Nonetheless, up until recently -- perhaps as someone who wants to be a mom but has never been the innately maternal type -- I would've NEVER thought to equate "changing dirty diaper" with "attraction." I mean, eww! That's about as much of a turn-on as rotten eggs or B.O.
But ahh, it seems that along with my niece's diaper, times have changed. Guess that's what being married and planning for parenthood will do to you.
Not that I'm complaining. I just realized how lucky I am to have my husband and his pretty damn impressive "dad skills," which are going to be a HUGE help one day.
And I'll gladly take all that over that perfectly crisp collared shirt ... though I certainly won't complain about him having both! (This isn't a hint, Honey. Okay, maybe just a little.)
What's a strange but adorable "dad skill" you love seeing your partner do?
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