Ready for the most obvious piece of non-news you'll hear all day? Here goes: straight women are not having orgasms during sex. Shocking, right? A new study has confirmed what most heterosexual women have known since the day we lost our virginity: just because we're doing the deed -- enjoying it, even -- doesn't necessarily mean we're sealing the deal at the very end.
I want to blame men. Really, I do. Because, gosh darnit, why is it that they don't know the vagina inside and out, despite the fact that several women I know wouldn't be able to point out the clitoris to you on a diagram? While I agree that any man who outright refuses to give his women oral sex should be rounded up and shipped off to vagina boot camp, I think we're lying to ourselves if we don't admit that WE are the sole reason we can't orgasm 100 percent of the time.
So here are some sad stats: researchers from the Kinsey Institute collected data from 6.151 single men and women between the ages of 21 and 65 and found that only 16.2 percent of hetero women reported achieving orgasm every time they had sex. More than 7 percent of women say they've never had an orgasm. In contrast, 46 percent of lesbians reported climaxing 75 to 99 percent of the time they had sex.
As for heterosexual men, well, as you can probably guess, 100 percent of them orgasm each and every time. The jerks.
Look, we can make believe lesbians are having better sex because both parties have vaginas and, therefore, know what to do with them, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that even lesbians were probably clueless about oral sex and stroking the G-spot when they first began having sexual relationships. It's not like you're born knowing what to do to bring others sexual pleasure.
It takes patience to learn how to orgasm. It takes time and patience and a lack of silly and senseless guilt to lock yourself in a room and masturbate and learn your body. And then it takes confidence and the understanding that we are worth the time and effort it takes to orgasm every time we have sex. I really think most men are willing to do what it takes to get us to climax, but that they aren't mind readers who automatically know what does it for us.
When you hear about reports like these, you start to wonder if our bodies are really such an enigma or if we're continuing to allow them to be by not opening up to our partners and showing them -- like, literally, demonstrating for them if that's what it takes -- what we need to orgasm 100 percent of the time.
Or, at the very least, 75 percent of the time.
How often do you orgasm? How do you make sure you orgasm each time you have sex?
Image via Seb Oliver/Corbis