Straight Women Are Cheating Themselves of Something HUGE in Bed

Ready for the most obvious piece of non-news you'll hear all day? Here goes: straight women are not having orgasms during sex. Shocking, right? A new study has confirmed what most heterosexual women have known since the day we lost our virginity: just because we're doing the deed -- enjoying it, even -- doesn't necessarily mean we're sealing the deal at the very end.

I want to blame men. Really, I do. Because, gosh darnit, why is it that they don't know the vagina inside and out, despite the fact that several women I know wouldn't be able to point out the clitoris to you on a diagram? While I agree that any man who outright refuses to give his women oral sex should be rounded up and shipped off to vagina boot camp, I think we're lying to ourselves if we don't admit that WE are the sole reason we can't orgasm 100 percent of the time.

So here are some sad stats: researchers from the Kinsey Institute collected data from 6.151 single men and women between the ages of 21 and 65 and found that only 16.2 percent of hetero women reported achieving orgasm every time they had sex. More than 7 percent of women say they've never had an orgasm. In contrast, 46 percent of lesbians reported climaxing 75 to 99 percent of the time they had sex.

As for heterosexual men, well, as you can probably guess, 100 percent of them orgasm each and every time. The jerks.

Look, we can make believe lesbians are having better sex because both parties have vaginas and, therefore, know what to do with them, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that even lesbians were probably clueless about oral sex and stroking the G-spot when they first began having sexual relationships. It's not like you're born knowing what to do to bring others sexual pleasure.

It takes patience to learn how to orgasm. It takes time and patience and a lack of silly and senseless guilt to lock yourself in a room and masturbate and learn your body. And then it takes confidence and the understanding that we are worth the time and effort it takes to orgasm every time we have sex. I really think most men are willing to do what it takes to get us to climax, but that they aren't mind readers who automatically know what does it for us.

When you hear about reports like these, you start to wonder if our bodies are really such an enigma or if we're continuing to allow them to be by not opening up to our partners and showing them -- like, literally, demonstrating for them if that's what it takes -- what we need to orgasm 100 percent of the time.

Or, at the very least, 75 percent of the time.

How often do you orgasm? How do you make sure you orgasm each time you have sex?


Image via Seb Oliver/Corbis



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the4m... the4mutts

Me? Almost every time. Sometimes Im just too tired or whatever. But I would say 99% of the time, we both get ours.

Im also not straight. Im bi-sexual.

IDK how much merit this study has though, since lesbians obviously make up a smaller percentage of the population, so you would assume that a higher percent have orgasm. Also, orgasm has nothing to do with masturbating. (Well, other than the obvious). Or knowing the anatomy. Some women have vaginal sensitivity issues, some have a mental block about "letting go".

I think it's all about the person, their body, and their comfort level. Not about sexual identity.

nonmember avatar birdie

it's all about the oral sex. if i'm in the mood it works every time. ladies that skip the oral are really missing out!!

James Green

"Any man who outright refuses to give his women oral sex should be rounded up and shipped off to vagina boot camp"
Absolutely! Of course, you must also agree that any woman who outright refuses to give her man a blowjob should be sent to BJ training camp too, right? Right????

amazz... amazzonia

maybe straight women with careless selfish men!

nonmember avatar Everytime

I don't know what kind of men y'all are having sex with, but I have one EVERYTIME. And I can't achieve them vaginally, so it takes extra effort on his part. I have been married to the same man for almost 20 years, (never even had sex with anyone else) and I can count on one hand the number of times I haven't had one in that time. Also, if I don't have one, he stops and doesn't have one either. He says the point of it for him is getting me off...if that doesn't happen, he's not interested in finishing himself. Guess I just got lucky, huh?? ;)

nonmember avatar Don

I challenge your, "that 100% of men orgasm each and every time. I have not always....maybe 90%, contrary to popular doesn't always happen for men as well. Have you not heard...some men faked orgasm too. I have, not proud of it, but it wasn't happening that night.

Laine... Lainey0468

I think it does make a difference if the "feelings" are there.  I was in a relationship where I did not love the man and it took a LOT for me to get off.  I am now in a relationship where I do ALL the time and I am in love with him.  I orgasm both vaginally and clitorally (is that a word LOL?) and it is earth shattering!


BGarcel BGarcel

Every single time and very often more than 3 orgasms each time we have sex. And no, men don't orgasm every time either. My husband has faked it with past girlfriends he just wanted to get the sex over with.

Jacci Zellers

My man can't control himself long enough... Says I'm too tight. Yeah whatever. BUT.... He gives me oral or manual climax every time before he gets his so it's all good. :)

nonmember avatar Anonymous

I get mine and then some every time I have sex. I learned a long time ago that if a man is with you in that situation, he finds your body hot and is turned on by it. Women need to get out of our heads and relax. Enjoy the sensations. Sex will be tons more enjoyable.

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