One-Night Stands Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be When You're a Mom

woman in bed having regrets
I admit that back in the day, I got quite a thrill out of one-night stands. There was something hot about meeting someone and hooking up with absolutely no strings attached.

Well, maybe it's because I'm older now, and I'm a mom, or just more sexually experienced. But these days the idea of a one-night stand completely turns me off. Grosses me out, even.

Lest you think I'm a prude or a fuddy duddy, allow me to explain why I like to keep my sexual activity within the confines of a relationship of some kind.

I think most of us can say that we've had a one-night stand, or, um, 20. Maybe more. (No, that's not "my number" by the way.)

But let's be completely honest here. The reason why they were so hot was because of the excitement of it all. You meet someone at a party or a bar. You're a little tipsy. Or a lot. And before you know it, you're doing the deed, then waking up the next morning sneaking out the door with some level of satisfaction.

Or shame.

And if you do actually remember what happened, I'm hard-pressed to imagine that it was incredibly satisfying.

Of course, there's the whole issue of dealing with the guilt of having a one-night stand that a lot of people grapple with. Heck, even I do -- to some extent, anyway.

And then, for some, the not knowing if he is going to call you can be a little torturous, even if you both sort of knew it was truly just a one-time thing.

But mostly, I'm concerned with the quality of the sex.

I recently read that only 25 percent of women have an orgasm from actual sex, which might seem surprising to some, but certainly not to me. It can take a lot of time, effort, and attention to get a woman to orgasm during intercourse itself, let alone oral sex (and other types of sex) too. 

And dare I say that women do tend to appreciate some level of connection with a person beyond "God, he's so hot!" 

So after your one-night stand, you're left with lackluster sex and guilt, which makes me ask why it's worth even bothering, especially when most of us can get ourselves off in a matter of minutes with our hands or sex toys or a bit of both.

These days, it's much more valuable to me to get to know someone before I jump in the sack with him. The truth is, the sex is so much better because not only is there a bond of some kind beyond the physical, but you're probably better able to communicate what you like and what you don't. And if not, there's at least an investment from both of you to give it a try.

More from The StirMarried Mom Blabs About Her One-Night Stand With Justin Bieber (VIDEO)

I guess I'm not as enthused or flattered by some guy just wanting to have sex with me as I was 15 years ago.

So yes, while relegating sexual activity to the confines of some sort of relationship may not sound as thrilling or exciting as a one-off sexcapade, I really do believe that in the end, you'll enjoy yourself way more, or at least, feel way better about yourself the next morning.

Plus walks of shame? Highly overrated.

What do you think about one-night stands?


Image ©



To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Mrscj... Mrscjones

one night stands are gross always has been always will be. I only needed to have one to know sex in a relationship is way better.

expar... expartygirl77

I completely agree I've actually shared something close to this on Facebook lately guys ask me for my number n start texting how much they need some "booty" n I'm like really dude not only do I not know u but 1 I got kids that I don't want strange men around 2 I'm sober now n 3 I don't even know u

Jeana... JeanaJaybird

I definitely agree that one night stands are not for mothers who are trying to set a good example for their children ..

nonmember avatar blue

One night stands are dangerous, stupid, and gross for everyone. NOT just a mom. However, a person who is trying to be an example is failing miserably, if they are having one night stands.

nonmember avatar AYF

One night stands are different now than they were then, you imagine? Is that the summary of this article? You don't say whether or not you have kids or if you've recently done the walk of shame. This "article" reads like a scribbled journal entry from the napkin of a very bored person. It doesn't make sense or even correspond to the title.

Autum... Autumnleaves87

Hahaha blue. You're hilarious. Dangerous??? Gross!?? You must be 12 on your moms computer.

I had a one or two when I was in my 20s before I grew up and realized that they aren't emotionally fulfilling. Sex is best between people who genuinely care about each other.

hopea... hopealways4019

Sex is better when its derrived from Not just the physical aspect but the emotional aspect also.

nonmember avatar Megan

I've never had a one night stand, maybe because I've been with the same person for 12 years now since I was 19. But I've gotten drunk a couple of times and made out with females I've barely new. Anyways my point is I think having a one night stand is pretty gross. I like sex but I like a man who knows how to please me.

CrazyAZ CrazyAZ

Megan - you got drunk and hooked up with strangers. Most people would call that a one night stand. Do you not count them because they were females or do you not count them because you didn't have penetration?

nonmember avatar lisseth

I've never had a one night stand. Hopefully never will, I have had only one sexual partner. My husband. I do think they are gross, and potentially dangerous. Imagine the person has some sort of std? No thank you. That's why I water until I knew this was the man I wanted to have children with, and spend the rest of my life with before I laid in.gif with anybody else!

1-10 of 18 comments 12 Last