Ah, vacation time is finally here. Time for some rest, relaxation and ... an epic brawl with your husband over whether you should have turned south at the fork in the road or if it was actually quite obvious that you should have kept going EAST, YOU IDIOT!!
Deep breath. Does that sound familiar? It's amazing how a vacation that's supposed to be fun and rejuvenating can also be so stressful, especially for couples. But with the right strategy, you can restore peace to your holiday. We all want to know how to avoid fighting with our spouse on vacation. Well, here's three of the most common fights couples have on a trip and how to deal with them.
1. One of you wants adventure while the other wants to chill. Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of Cheat on Your Husband With Your Husband says, "It's important for both of you to communicate your needs so you both feel like you had a vacation." One option is to occasionally do things separately and meet up again later. Or you can alternate itineraries -- follow your vacation agenda one day, follow his agenda the next day.
Mike Willits of the travel advice blog 1000 Fights says the key to resolving this argument is "finding a compromise that works for both. Find the win/win. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, 'Let's do this, then let's do that.'”
2. You can't agree on how much money to spend on what. Syrtash says it's important to agree on a travel budget before you leave. Some couples might even want to contribute to a travel fund. It's a negotiation, like everything else in a relationship. Try to get on the same page before you leave. He also warns that "one person shouldn't be controlling the entire vacation" unless the other person agrees that's okay.
3. You're just plain tired/hungry/cranky. And then there's what Willits calls the "Tired and Fired" fight. That's when you're worn out from being on your feet all day, touring. Or you have jet lag. Or you're hungry. Syrtash says you need to be aware of this travel pitfall. If you find yourself picking a battle when you're hungry or tired, stop. This may not be the best time to hash out an issue.
Willits agrees. He says the key to avoiding this escalation is to recognize the signs. When you're stepping things up emotionally because you're fried, then simply "admit that you're both irritated and tired and go buy some gelato. Problem solved."
Both Syrtash and Willits say it's healthy for a couple to have disagreements while traveling. Willits suggests making sure you're both forthcoming about what you want. He says, "The true beauty of exploring the world as a couple is learning more about your love in a unique setting."
What kinds of fights do you and your spouse have when you're on a trip together?