You know this would rock your man's world -- but do you dare try it? We bet your husband would love to see you do a striptease dance. It sounds like a lot of hot fun ... or it would if you looked and dressed like Sofia Vergara. How do you even get started? I mean, what, you just march into the room, put on a Beyonce ballad, and start taking off your peach t-shirt and matching capri pants while shaking your non-Beyonce hips? What if he laughs at you? OMG, so much potential for humiliation!
Relax. This striptease business? You can do it, and we're going to tell you how. Here are 14 striptease tips you'll both love.
1. Practice. Don't just wing it and rely on intuition and "the mood." Try it alone first in front of a mirror, trying out different moves, music, and clothes. "It’s really about capturing the spirit of it all. It’s about your individuality," Dita says. And by the way, you may want to look up some of Dita's strip teases on YouTube and steal a few of her moves.
2. Wear a few layers, but not too many. If you have a character or costume in mind, go for it. But if not, style writer Gala Darling suggests the classic striptease costume of "a collared shirt with a pencil skirt, seamed stockings, heels & your hair in a chignon." And under that, hot undies of course, something that makes you feel sexy, like black lacy bra and panties, maybe with suspender garters.
3. Assume a persona. This is another great suggestion from Gala. "Pretend that you are a famous French dominatrix, or a sexy Russian spy — someone a little bit different."
4. Pick the right music. What are the five sexiest songs you know? From that list, pick something with a slow tempo that will help you move teasingly, sensually. Here's a very diverse playlist of striptease songs for inspiration.
5. Dim the lights. Burlesque queen Dita Von Teese says this is her number-one tip. She suggests dimmer switches. "It’s flattering, it’s sexy, and really sets the tone." If you don't have dimmer switches, you can use candles (but careful not to throw anything on them!) or indirect lighting from a table lamp or two. Don't just keep the overhead lights on full glare, though.
6. Tie your man down. Some say you should actually handcuff your guy to a chair. But failing that, sit him down and tell him you're about to give him a show. He's not allowed to touch you until you're all done! (Unless you need help -- see #11.) It's more fun that way.
7. Don't take anything off just yet. Okay, you've set the stage, you've got your costume, your music, your lighting, your persona. Don't give it all away just yet -- start off just be dancing to the music. Let the anticipation build a little.
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8. Start with your top. Unbutton your blouse s-l-o-w-l-y, making eye contact. Then your skirt. Play around with your clothes a bit, twirling them or throwing them on your audience.
9. Let things slide down to the floor. Sexy lifestyle expert Dana B. Myers says, "Slip tops (or flowing teddies and baby dolls) should slip down your body. Remove these while standing up, and make eye contact the entire time with your partner."
10. Take your bra off the naughty way. "Instead of just unclasping your bra," Myers says, "slide one finger under the shoulder straps and slowly push each off, one at a time."
11. Have fun with complicated stuff. "For intricate back-closure items, like a corset with hooks or laces, turn to give your lover a view of your fingers slowly, methodically undoing the cinches. Or use your best enticing voice and ask him to help," Myers suggests.
12. Touch yourself. Wherever you want your man's eyes to go, touch yourself there.
13. Panties come last. This is usually the big finish, so make it dramatic. Here's how Myers says to play it: "Pull your panties down just a hint, teasing, playing with the edges, but them pull them back up."
14. Most importantly, TEASE. "It can at times feel awkward to peel off your panties in front of someone else, and there is definitely an art to taking it off," Myers says. "But, at the same time, it all really boils down to three simple words: Be. A. Tease. No matter what you do, draw the moment out to build anticipation and make a show of it."
Have you ever performed a striptease? Would you?
Images © SIE Productions/Corbis, ©iStock.com/Alija