Famous 'Love Guru' Says Women Are to Blame When Men Cheat

couple fighting Linda Joyce is a self-proclaimed 'love guru' and boy does she have news for you. Sleep with a guy on the first date? He's going to think you're less attractive. Married and your guy cheats on you? That's not 'betrayal'! That's blowing off steam. Ever wonder why men lie? It's because we women and our 'feelings' make things too difficult for them. 

I wonder if Linda Joyce is actually a Mens' Rights Activist in drag. Since I have no way of sussing that out in the immediate here and now, I will go ahead and say that if she actually is a woman, that makes her claims even more unforgivable. Joyce knows about as much about men as she does about her gender. And it's not a lot. How do people like this get book deals?! I don't get it. But Linda DID score a book deal, and now she's talking about everything she's learned about men and women. 

Talking about men and women in such simplistic terms does us ALL a disservice. Joyce's big hang-up seems to be the fact that women are 'emotional'. She says that emotions make thing difficult for men. Maybe there are instances where this is true, but damned if I wouldn't like to think that we as a species are more complex than that. Her description of the sexes makes it sound like women are constantly running around screaming with sheets over our heads while men bang their heads against walls in order to experience pain the only way possible to them. 

That said, Joyce didn't come up all empty. She interviewed hundreds of men for her new book, and across one resoundingly obvious but important fact about women and men. If you want something from your male partner -- tell him! I know I've been guilty on occasion of expecting my partner to basically be able to read my mind, which isn't fair. That said, she doesn't talk about how important it is for men to try and understand these feelings and wants instead of running away from them because they view them to be problematic. 

Do you think there's any truth to Joyce's claims?

 

Image © JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis

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nonmember avatar Jill

Bullshit! This might be all reasons why men leave their relationships. Which is fine. You want out, get out. Cheating is just selfishness and lack of self control. That goes for both genders. If you are unhappy, work on it or don't. We are all grown up here grow the F up. Stop trying to have the stable home life with your home cooked meal while you are banging your coworker on the side.

D.j. Lord

no no no..its mens fault when women cheat..he didnt hold me,he didnt give me enough attention and all that good stuff

youth... youthfulsoul

Sounds like a load of crap, but then again it also sounds like the excuses men probably gave her for their pathetic behavior.

John Alastair

@D.J. Lord


True! Ever notice that - according to women - when men cheat, it's men's fault, and when women cheat, that's men's fault too? (likewise, when she's not getting aroused during lovemaking, that's HIS FAULT; when he's not getting aroused during lovemaking, that's HIS FAULT too). 


When people confess to cheating, you'll sometimes hear men admitting to being dogs, but you'll NEVER hear women admit to being sluts or whores. So, is Linda Joyce getting slammed here just because she cracked that age-old code?


How convenient that right above, in the "Extra Sugar: More from The Stir" section, I found a link to this article (though it's old):


http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/106966/women_cheat_because_men_do

BGarcel BGarcel

We're usually the more emotional ones so she did get that right and many of us assume that our husbands or boyfriends can read our minds. Also, it's mostly true that men don't want desperate women. Overall, I would say she got mostly right according to the linked article.

Girls... this is not excusing cheating. Just gives the most common reason for why it happened. Goodness.... chill out and read the article.

BGarcel BGarcel

John Alastair brings up a good point. It's a double standard that we created. And it isn't fair.

tbruc... tbrucemom

I'm not going to excuse men's cheating because of women being too emotional, but most men don't handle emotions well so I can see them not wanting to always be honest because if they are some women can't handle it because of those emotions, hormones, whatever you want to call it and they can also become very dramatic due to them. Then again, I really try and be realistic about things and not let emotions rule every decision. It's not always possible, but if you stop and really think things thru it can help. I also agree about the double standard regarding cheating and there are a lot of men that lose interest if you give it up on the first date, they like to chase.

nonmember avatar JD

The cheating thing may be far fetched but is not without its merit. Blowing off steam is a good way to put it as i believe many are trying to escape the pressure of married life. That being said it is still wrong.

The other things though seem to be right on. Men are usually communicating exactly what they mean. The words they chose are meant to convey the one idea they are putting forth that moment. There is usually no other reason for the statement. While when women speak, the idea they are trying to convey is colored by their emotions. That is why a guy can hear the story about a problem between his SO and a friend and not think that there is anything wrong while the woman is distraught. This is because we hear the story with no emotional "static". We do not hear the years of back and forth between the two. We do not hear the string of bad things that happened prior to this that ruined her mood. All we here is that "so and so stood you up for lunch" and that that is somehow unforgivable.

nonmember avatar Erin H.

So, according to this lady, men cheat cuz they are "blowing off steam" cuz married to an over-emotional woman is "so stressful". Pfffffft whatever! Life itself is stressful and hard; do we really need to give guys an excuse for their lack of self-control? Also, when us girls are a blubbering mess while spewing how our bosses are unfair, our friend stood us up for a lunch date, or the kids have worn on our last nerve, THAT is our way of blowing off steam. And it causes harm to NO ONE. Maybe men need to find a different way to blow off their steam instead of sticking their d!cks into another woman.

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