Hey you, with the bushy eyebrows -- we know what you're like in the bedroom! Or we have a pretty good guess, anyway. Relationship expert Tracey Cox claims your facial features can reveal your sexual preferences. This is based on the 3,000-year-old Chinese practice of facial reading. You should be able to look at a guy's eyebrows, eye color, nose shape, and lips and tell what kind of lover he is. Imagine the time and trouble this could save while dating! Are you intrigued? Here's what Cox says.
Eyebrows: Basically, bigger brows mean bigger sex drive. Sparse brows mean you're more spiritual than sexual.
Eyes: People with light-colored eyes are easily sexually satisfied and don't attach sex with love. They enjoy hookups. Dark eyes mean deep passion and a preference for forming lasting attachments slowly over time. They like intensity and variety in bed.
Nose: People with snub noses prefer romantic sex, most likely missionary style. They're not into the kinky stuff. People with "bumpy" noses want all of the sex, the kinkier the better.
Lines: You know who else has an enormous sexual appetite and is up for whatever, whenever? People with those thin lines under their lower eyelids. Who knew! And if you have fine lines under the base of your nose you're basically obsessed with sex. It's all you ever think about and you have the most voracious libido ever.
Mouth and lips: Big mouth means big love. You take time to please your luvah and you're unselfish. A full bottom lip means sexually adventurous but also unfaithful. And if you have a wide mouth you're basically a top in bed. A small mouth, on the other hand, means you blow your load too quickly and aren't very affectionate, but at least you're imaginative in bed. (What? How do you find time to be inventive if you climax quickly -- know what I mean? That makes no sense.)
Can you imagine a composite image of the ultimate lover? Well, I suppose that depends on what your idea of a good lover is. Which would depend on your own sexual inclinations. Which we could easily read in your face. Supposedly.
Yeah. So for those of you who think this is all a bunch of malarkey (oh wait, that would be me!), keep this in mind. Your finger length is supposed to say a lot about your personality, and there's actually some science backing it up this time. Apparently a surge of testosterone in the fetal development of boys especially affects your finger length, giving high-testosterone people a longer ring finger and shorter index finger.
For both sexes, those finger ratios are correlated with things like risk-taking, aggression, and athletic ability. In women, it's been correlated with lesbianism. So there you go -- your finger could say a lot about your sexual preference.
Or not! I don't know -- I'm still not buying the whole facial features -- sexual preferences connection. But it makes for a fun parlour game. And hey, if it is true, it sure sounds like George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin have a smokin' sex life.
Do any of these predictions between facial features and sexual proclivities ring true to you?
Image via Corbis