10 Questions You Should NEVER Ask Your Man

Ladies: The key to a happier relationship is simpler than all those self-help books make it seem. All you need to do is avoid asking your man any of the questions below. None can be answered acceptably. The closest he can come to being correct is changing the subject. Science has tried for decades and failed to understand why you continue to feel that some good can come from asking any of the following…

1. "Does this ______ make me look fat?" Whether it's a dress, a shirt, or something else we don't give a crap about, there's obviously no "yes"-ing this question. However, "no" is an equally painful misstep, since it confirms that you do, in fact, look fat. Why do you do this to us?

2. "If I died right now, which of my friends would you want to hook up with?" You know we already have an answer. And you have a pretty good idea, too. However, there's no possible way that you want to hear us confirm it.

3. "Do you notice anything different?" We notice nothing different about you. Ever. Unless it has to do with your boobs. However, "no" is obviously the wrong choice and your insistence will force us to choose something that you haven't changed for 10 years.

4. "How old do I look?" Picking an age equal to or older than yours is relationship kryptonite. Although most of us are smart enough to avoid that trap, a younger age means that we're lying and you can't trust us to be honest with you.

5. "Do you want to come shopping with me?" The answer is always no. Always. However, men who are with you fewer than 10 years will say "yes," at least the first time, and you will interpret their resentment as not wanting to be with you.

6. "Should I change my hair color?" "No" means that we only like you for your hair, "yes" that we've never liked it and want to sleep with someone else.

7. "How do you know her?" Do you really need to know why not to ask this?

8. "Do you think she's pretty? ""Yes" leads to an even bigger bear trap: "Prettier than me?" But "no" means we're lying again, since cars crash when this babe walks.

9. "You know why I'm mad at you, right?" Not only do we have no idea -- we would have apologized if we did -- but we probably didn't even notice you were mad. Of course, whatever answer we pull out of our butts will be just as unacceptable to you as a "no."

10. Whose panties are these? Again, no explanation necessary.

Be honest: Do you ever ask your man any of these questions and does he ever give you an answer that doesn't make you mad?


Image via Steven Depolo/Flickr

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the4m... the4mutts

My husband would tell me if I looked fat in something I was considering buying. You can't trust dressing room mirrors, and he knows that if I bought it, then got home and it looked like shit, I would be upset and have to return it.

Which goes along with shopping. He DOES want to go with me, and gets genuinely sad if I want to go alone. The few times I haven't wanted to bring kids, and we didn't have a sitter, he asked me to send him pictures from the dressing room. Unless it's shoes. He hates shoe shopping.

If your husband doesn't tell you how he knows someone, then he has a reason to hide it. I would rather hear "I slept with her 10 yrs ago" than have her over for bbq, and be caught off guard by her making a joke about it. (Yes that's happened) She was never allowed back, because I didn't appreciate the secret keeping.

If there are panties that aren't mine, I wouldn't ask. I would file for divorce, end of story.



Real couples shouldn't be afraid to ask questions, or give honest answers. If you can't trust your partner to be honest, or to accept an honest answer, then you shouldn't be together.

the4m... the4mutts

Oh, and we both check out chicks, since Im bisexual. I know which friends of mine are hot, and we both point out hot women in public.

Bruic... Bruickson

I always ask my husband how I look before we go somewhere because I know he will be honest and he knows I won't get mad. I'd rather him tell me that what I'm wearing doesn't look so great on me than him lie and let me walk out the house looking bad. I do the same for him.

I think only a woman with insecurity issues would have a problem getting honest answers to these questions.

John Alastair

1)  ...or to themselves?
2)  She probably wants to know if you've been checking out any of her friends.
3)  If you never notice anything different about her, open your eyes. It's more accurate to say that the things which are important to her are not always important to you (which is okay).
4)  If it's really that important to her, her ego is probably more fragile than yours.
5)  Just say no.
6)  Psycho chick.
7)  See #4.
8)  See #4.
9)  Call her out for playing games.
10) "[gasp]! Those are yours! I bought them for you, remember? Don't you value anything I give you?!? (might not work if they're worn). :)

TheSi... TheSilence

I'm so glad I didn't marry a pig like you.

Ajack324 Ajack324

Oh Lord, learn to take a joke ppl

BGarcel BGarcel

^^John Alastair lmao!

nonmember avatar Ashley

Come on ladies, the article is entertaining. Untrue, but entertaining none the less. Don't take things so seriously. :)

Charl... Charlyla2

I always know how my husband "knows" a woman because he tells me. It only pisses me off that he has to tell me not that it happened. I only ever ask that question when he starts hinting around that they hooked up once. Drives me insane that he has to make a point of telling me.

nonmember avatar Fawky

Life's full of unknown mysteries sometimes is feels good but sometimes strips away your self worth all we can do is take all in our stride learn from the experience and learn to love ourselves. Discover each day something new grow and live to be truly happy and we will be for filled.

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