5 'Prudish' Habits That Are Killing Your Sex Life

I hear way too many moms complaining about how they don't want to have sex or how their sex lives are boring and well, I don't really have much sympathy because these days, there's just no excuse.

There are all sorts of fun things you can do in the bedroom to spice things up that you're probably just not willing to try. And hey, we tell our kids "you can't say you don't like it if you don't try it" when they turn their nose down to a new food.

Guess what, moms? The same thing applies to sex. So loosen up that darn chastity belt and stop being such prudes.

1. Stop being so quiet. Even the slightest bit of dirty talk can take boring sex to hot sex in a matter of a few words. Lose the "Oh God!" and "Right there!" and get a little creative. If you think saying "good job" all the time to your kids is ineffective as praise, imagine what saying the same thing to your partner all the time does? Be descriptive. Be naughty. Be a little bit dirty. You'll be surprised at how much it will turn you on as much as it does him.

2. Stop saying "no" to porn.  Watching porn with (or without) your partner can steam things up pretty quickly. Along with a little visual inspiration, it can be a great way to get new ideas for things to try, even just a little dirty talk refresher (see #1). There are plenty of options that cater specifically to women, even sites on Tumblr that have artful but very sexy photos and GIFs, so peruse the offerings and find something that's appealing to you. Trust me, there's definitely something for everyone.

3. Stop avoiding the butt. Yes, yes we all know it's where poop comes out, but a simple wipe and wash and it's probably cleaner than your hands are right now. And look, you don't necessarily have to dive right into anal sex (actually, you shouldn't really do that), but there's nothing wrong with a little butt play - fingers, tongues, toys, oh my - that you can both enjoy.

4. Stop thinking toys are just for solo play. I hear women talk all the time about the toys in their drawer that they use on themselves but then somehow shudder to think of handing them over to their partner. Are you kidding? If you know that's what works for you, why not let someone else give it a try. That little extra poke or buzz might be exactly what you need to send you over the edge again. And again. And again.

5. Stop being so self-conscious. The number one libido killer for women is often themselves. That's right, you feeling bad about your body or how you look naked or all those little things that you feel embarrassed about can actually play out negatively in the bedroom. Of course, self esteem isn't something that you can just change overnight, nor is there any switch to flip that will make it better. But letting go of some (or better all) of your inhibitions, especially in the bedroom, will make for way hotter sex.

What have you tried lately that really spiced things up? Tell us in the comments!


Image via Jean Khoulev/Flickr

love, marriage, orgasm, sex, sex drive, sex secret, sex toys, sexuality


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Paws84 Paws84

So I should have sex with my husband while he's looking at another chick? No thanks. If i'm not good enough for him, we should just get a divorce. That's far from the case, but basically I'm saying I think it's dumb on another woman's part to have sex with your man while both of you are looking at other ppl. Just go be with other ppl if you don't do it for him/her anymore and find someone that doesnt need to stare at someone else to get it up while he/she's with you.

nonmember avatar Zettsyuk

Butt sex is mandatory? Really? Not taking it up my @ ss is "prudish"? Sorry, but my husband and I have given that particular pony multiple rides, and frankly, both of us prefer other positions and dislike the negative aspects of anal enough to primarily forgo it.

But saying I'm a prude because I don't engage in something that doesn't feel good or sexy is absolutely absurd.

nonmember avatar trw5267

Porn will help us have better sex? Did you do any research before writing this at all? Multiple studies show that porn leads to less satisfying sex. Bummed that this article didnt bring anything fresh. The list is pretty predicable and basic.

nonmember avatar MinaMazing

Even though this article was a bit predictable it had some points. It was written about someone's opinions. It did not give survey # or % so I am a bit shocked the responses seem so disappointed. It was ok but I so wish it had more to offer.

nonmember avatar Jena

We don't do the porn or full on analysis but the rest of it is a go and our sex life stays full and spicy!

nonmember avatar Jena

That was supposed to say full on anal. Darn auto correct!

Lauri Kuhlmeier Kashkin

As someone that had to deal with my husband's porn addiction, I can honestly say that porn did NOT improve anything about our sex life. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough or attractive enough for him. 

Manth... Manthie717

I don't agree with this article. I am post menopausal and my sex life has dwidled to the point that there isn't anything happening in that department. I enjoy cuddles and kisses and that is more satisfying to me than anything sexual. Maybe I am being a prude!!

the4m... the4mutts

Our sex life is just fine without porn and sex toys, tyvm. And I agree with PP, this was basic and predictable. Porn and toys, and stop hating your body. How many times are you bloggers going to repeat the same lines of crap?

If fixing a "broken" sex life was so easy, then there wouldn't BE any broken sex lives.

nonmember avatar Kaylee

I agree with this article in every aspect. If you cant watch porn with your significant other then clearly you may be a little self conscious, unless the "both" of you dislike porn and toys, but what may help ones needs may not always fix the other and sometimes we have to do things to please our partner that are out of our comfort zone, always remember what you are not willing to try another man/woman out there is. if both partners are not equally satisfied in the bedroom.... well that's when secrets and such come into play ;)

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