A Lot of Cheating Wives Are Committing a Major Marriage Faux Pas

Unhappy Couple in BedThere's no real rhyme or reason as to why people cheat on their spouses. Sometimes it's a drunken escapade when the marriage is going through a rough spot, and other times it's a full-blown love affair with one or both partners feeling trapped in matrimony.

Sexual conquest, boredom, angry revenge sex, or just because the opportunity presented itself ... the list of reasons why people cheat is basically endless. According to AshleyMadison.com, at least one in five women who cheat do share one particular trait: They're in sexless marriages.

The dating site for married people (yech) surveyed 74,600 members from around the world and discovered that U.S. women aren't getting any at home more than any other nationality.

Around 22 percent of the American women who participated admitted to "having no sex with their husbands at all." A rep from Ashley Madison said, "Our unprecedented global study showed nearly 1 in 5 unhappily married women in the U.S. are in a sexless marriage, and I'm fairly sure that was not what they committed to on their wedding day."

At first glance, it's probably easy to conclude that lack of sex in a marriage leads to extramarital activities, but I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that the sex is just a symptom of a much greater problem: A marriage with some serious problems.

More from The Stir: Betrayed by the One I Loved: 12 True Stories of Cheating

The cliche that sex is more physical for men and emotional for women exists for a reason. Women want to feel loved in order to keep that loving feeling alive in the bedroom, so I'd venture a guess that wives who turn down their husbands' invitations to do the deed are feeling lonely and unloved.

Ironically, because sex and love are so closely tied together, women who don't want to have sex because they feel neglected look to find that loving feeling by having sex with someone else. Of course that then alienates them further from their husbands, the marriage gets rockier, and the whole thing is just a big old mess.

So what's a girl to do when she finds herself in a sexless marriage? It's probably healthier to examine the reasons why rather than opt for an affair.

Why do you think people cheat on their spouses?


Image via Tina Franklin/Flickr

cheating, marriage, sex


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nonmember avatar Jennifer

SURPRISE!!!! Men and women cheat for the same reason!
They are selfish !
He/She isn't attentive
He/She doesn't have enough sex with me
He /She works too much
There is never a reason to cheat. You want out. get out and don't act like you someone MADE you cheat.

Mrscj... Mrscjones

Thank you @Jennifer

Jaghd810 Jaghd810

Humans cheat because they are not wired to be monogamous mammals.  Plain and simple.  

nonmember avatar Rudy

Life is full of sub-optimal choices, the proverbial two evils. When one spouse refuses sex, drops out of joint counseling the one who wants to have sex in his/her life has some unhappy choices: divorce and have limited time with the kids, stay and live without sex or stay and find some kind of sex life outside the marriage. I don't blame anyone for making any of those choices. Of course rational people might also agree upon an open marriage.

nonmember avatar taylor

I disagree completely with @jennifer. How can you be that judgemental? How do you know what someone else is going through? If you read the statistics most men/women who cheat are not unhappy. They just crave the attention. Unfortunately most couple forget along the way how to express the desire/love.

nonmember avatar Allie

A website made specifically for cheating conducts a 'study' of its members and we're suppose to take it seriously? Please....

B1Bomber B1Bomber

There is never an acceptable reason to cheat. If you are done with your marriage, end it. Otherwise, figure it out.

nonmember avatar Ivonne

@taylor you sound ridiculous and incredibly immature. "People cheat because you crave attention?" That's hysterical! If you are married you have made a COMMITMENT and that means keeping long after the mood has left you. You fix issues with your marriage. You don't get naked with a third person and expect that will fix the issue.

HeywoodJ HeywoodJ

Yes, let's discuss the morality of destroying marriages with an author who proved she's untrustworthy when making matrimonial vows before God.

I'm sure this will go well.

nonmember avatar Dave

Jenny, I just found your blog today, but your post has to make one wonder - Did you cheat on your husband?

If so, are you glad you did?

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