10 ‘Scary’ Wife Confessions About Husbands

LOL 38

You vowed to love him unconditionally. To cherish him. To respect and honor him. To care for and protect him, and to comfort and encourage him. And hopefully you do, as he does you.

But it's a good thing you didn't vow to tell him every thought that goes through your head. Because, based on these confessions, if you had, you'd probably be divorced now ...

1. I rush home from work so I can crawl into bed and snuggle my dog for 15 minutes before my husband gets home with the baby ... and sometimes, when they walk in, I'm disappointed they are home already.

2. I gave my husband a hard time for forgetting our anniversary last week so he'd make up for it somehow. I'd only remembered when my father called me that morning to wish me a nice day.

3. I have a secret checking account with a balance of $6K. It's taken years of 20 bucks here and there to add up and I can't wait to blow it on something amazing for myself.

4. I'm more upset by the fact that my husband has gone bald than he is.

5. My husband is giving my screaming daughter a bath while I am in the bathroom with "stomach troubles." Really, I am just sitting here eating a taco and surfing the web.

6. My husband thinks my daughter was a surprise; however, she was planned. I knew exactly what I was doing.

7. I taught my daughter to say 'Dadda' before 'Mamma' so I could make my husband do whatever she needed. I pretend to be offended, but I love not having to get up in the middle of the night.

8. I kick my husband out of the bedroom, telling him he snores, but really I just love having the whole bed to myself.

9. I am secretly embarrassed that my husband is not that cute. Actually, he's kind of ugly.

10. I told my husband to stop wearing deodorant because it makes him sweat and stink more, but really he's smoking hot, and if he stinks, maybe he won't get hit on so much.

Your turn! What do you want to confess about your husband?


marriage

38 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar FarmersWife

I love #10!!! And have totally done #2- remembering DAYS later and pulling the "I wanted to see how long it would take you!" lmao. Poor guys.

Coles... Coles_mom

Some of those are a big scary...like # 6 and #9. I don't have any "secret" confessions..I just married a man who is cruel and narcissistic, so every day with him is a nightmare. 

nonmember avatar myo

#6 is so WRONG!! Some people don't want kids and there's nothing wrong with that! Women like that make us all look bad and make men not trust all women, so a big F*** YOU to who ever did and also your an idiot. And #9 makes me sad, why did u marry someone you think is ugly? :(

tbruc... tbrucemom

These all are either sad, scary or pathetic. Seriously, I thought it was going to be stuff like fighting over who gets to run to the store so they have few minutes by themselves, not wanting to wake the baby so you bring the car seat in the house kind of things. I don' t know who to pity more, the woman for doing these things or the husbands that have to live with them.

nonmember avatar Heather

I liked #10 but the some of these, really? If you don't like your husband enough to be excited that he's home, why are you still with him? More importantly, why did you have kids with him? Life is entirely too short to be wasting someone else's time with your pitiful existence and making their lives probably just as miserable since they can probably TELL you aren't excited they're home. I sit by the door like a dog waiting for my husband to come home after I get back from work. I can not wait. I loathe getting out of the bed every morning bc I'd so much rather stay right there with him. I find my husband so attractive that I immediately think everyone else does too and do my damndest to stay looking just as attractive to him. And I'm not just speaking about looks here people. You can have an attractive personality and soul as well. Shame on these women for not being proud to be married to the person that has been putting up with their sh*tty attitude!

SNAPA SNAPA

#5 & #10 are the only ones I "like"...all the others are just very, very, very bad.

BGarcel BGarcel

something like #10 is what I've told my husband before. But the rest of these are quite bad even borderline psychotic.

nonmember avatar Todd

These are just a few examples of how crazy women are (and also how mean and nasty they can be). Make me happy every day being single. I really feel for the husbands of these women being stuck with these evil witches. Why men marry is beyond me.

BGarcel BGarcel

@Todd: Men marry because there are good women who understand them and love them the way men should be loved. However, you are right that it is better being single than being married to a woman who would do something on this list.

rlfra... rlfrazier

I'm with most everyone else in that most of these made me sad or annoyed. In fact, my amazing husband who works two jobs & goes to school on the weekends just left for his second job today & asked me why I looked so sad as he was getting ready to walk out the back door. He said I looked like a sad puppy dog. I live for the moments he walks thru the door. It's okay to enjoy your husband giving the kids a bath once in a while or having some "me" time now & again, but to be vindictive & evil about it.. no thanks. I think my husband is the most beautiful man on the face of the planet.. Every man deserves that. Just like every child deserves to feel like they are their parent's favoritest thing/person on the face of the planet. & had a man said he thinks his wife is ugly... The comments would be scathing about how shallow & egotistical & ugly he is. So to #9, you are ugly inside & out far uglier than you husband could ever be. (& You don't deserve him.)

1-10 of 38 comments 1234 Last