20 Real Reasons Men Say No to Sex

man and woman on opposite sides of the bedSure, many women admit they occasionally come up with excuses to get out of having sex. But there are also often legitimate reasons why they don't want to get it on. And while we're at it, let's clear up an ugly little gender myth here ... Women aren't the only ones saying "no" to sexytimes. Men are just as guilty of making excuses! And, believe it or not, also have their reasons for abstaining.

Here, 20 actual reasons a guy may say "no" to a bedtime romp ... 

  1. He's suffering from poor body image/feels out of shape.
  2. He ate too much.
  3. He's gassy from eating too much or what he ate. (Having taken milk pills means nothing!)
  4. He had a groin injury and/or surgery recently.
  5. He isn't over a fight you had and doesn't want to hurt you with hate sex.
  6. He's angry about something he has yet to bring up -- and doesn't want to hurt you with hate sex.
  7. He may be in the mood for a less conventional sort of sex play and is not ready to talk to you about that/do that with you. (Also known as Real Life Christian Grey Complex.)
  8. He's suffering from low self-esteem.
  9. He's feeling anxious about money.
  10. He's feeling anxious about work.
  11. He's coping with seasonal depression.
  12. He's coping with chemical depression -- and taking antidepressants only serves to compound the issue, as they notoriously lower sex drive.
  13. He's turned off by something you did -- like lie about money.
  14. He's turned off because you did something that reminds him of your mother ... or his mother. (Ew.)
  15. He already took care of "the need" himself too recently.
  16. His hormone balance is out of whack. (Lower than optimal testosterone or low thyroid, etc.)
  17. He drank too much and is afraid he won't be able to perform up to par.
  18. He's feeling insecure about something related to sex, like penis size, how long he can last before ejaculating, etc.
  19. He's feeling insecure about something else that's linked to his pride/masculinity, like feeling stuck in his career, not making enough money as he'd like, etc.
  20. He's truly, completely zonked/exhausted/burned out/beyond tired. Yes, men are human, too.

What are some other real reasons your man passes on sex?


Image via © Rob Lewine/Tetra Images/Corbis


sex, love, marriage

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nonmember avatar Lisa

Ummm so ABOUT the same reasons that women pass on sex with their partners. Glad to confirm men are human and all.

butte... buttercup627

I feel like "because he doesn't want to" should be on there

nonmember avatar Ashley

Because he's hungry. Because the kids keep waking up. Because he wants some down time for himself. Because he doesn't want to disturb me while I'm doing something. Because he just doesn't feel like putting in the energy. Because I have just made the bed. And all these reasons are fine with me. If he doesn't want sex, it's his right to say no.

Mom2S... Mom2Squared

Women are the same way. I can say my husband has never passed on sex in 15+ years, so if he DID so out of the blue, I might be concerned.

Brynl... Brynleysmom

My man turns down sex alot because he has diabetes and he doesn't control it well. Hello low sex drive:/

nonmember avatar Saoirse

funny... I have never heard of a man saying no to sex. ever...

heath... heather_H83

My man is just like me..

some times its 2-3 times in one week and sometimes we abstain for 2 weeks at a time because one or the other of us is tired, stressed, sick, or just plain not in the mood.

our whole life and relationship doesn't revolve around sex so....no big thing.

Happy... Happydad73

This was written by a woman. There are about 4 things on this list that are true for the vast majority of men.

Ashle... Ashleytray101

I believe that after a bad fight n a few angry words will not want him to performing duh lol

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