20 Excuses Women Use to Get Out of Sex With Their Husbands

It's a long running joke that the sex basically ends after you've been married awhile. It's a notion that's played up in just about every romantic comedy that hits the screen. And you know what, it's not too far from reality. Recently, I ran into a neighbor-pal on Valentine's Day and she had gotten pink eye (thanks to her 4-year-old son). I grimaced and said, "Sucks to have that on a day like today." Her reply: "Are you kidding? This is the best get out of sex excuse I’ve ever had." It made me laugh -- and wonder what other out-of-the box excuses women use to get out of sex with their husbands and boyfriends. Here is what they had to say.

  1. Didn't we just have it last week?
  2. I can't have sex when your mother is visiting. It kills the mood.
  3. I've said that I'm full and don't feel sexy at all.
  4. My friend actually had some sort of condition that made her vagina hurt during sex. She and her bf went without it for a year. When she met another guy, her vagina miraculously started working again.
  5. Me: Ugh, I'm just so sore from that gym workout. Everything hurts. Him: I bet your mouth doesn't hurt ...
  6. The kids keep getting up and they'll just disturb us.
  7. I haven't showered.
  8. You haven't showered.
  9. Get away from me.
  10. I just had my hair done.
  11. I'm on my period. Sometimes I use this one twice in a month.
  12. I just pick a fight before bedtime.
  13. Why don't we just cuddle. That's much more romantic.
  14. It's not your birthday!
  15. You want sex and I want the dog walked. Do that with any regularity and then we can talk.
  16. Have you been drinking? I can smell the alcohol coming out of your pores and it is making me nauseated. 
  17. I'm think I have bronchitis or strep or something. If I gave you a blow job, I might infect your penis.
  18. I bring up his mom. Kills his mood every time.
  19. I just watched the Walking Dead. I can't have sex after that.
  20. And of course, the before mentioned pink eye defense!

What excuses have you given to avoid sex?

 

Image via Michele Constantini/PhotoAlto/Corbis

marriage, sex

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Happy... Happydad73

20 excuses why men won't buy you flowers, shoes, jewelry:

You won't have sex with me.

You refuse to have sex with me.

You decline having sex with me.

You don't want to have sex with me.................

SamNS... SamNStefanMommy

I just tell him I'm not in the mood. Works simple enough for us. He does the same to me. Although, let's face it, he's only used that like twice in 2 years. Men seem to love sex.


 

VACUT... VACUTIE24

I usually tell him my stomach hurts since I suffer with endometriosis .

VACUT... VACUTIE24

I usually tell him my stomach hurts since I suffer with endometriosis .

VACUT... VACUTIE24

I usually tell him my stomach hurts since I suffer with endometriosis .

nonmember avatar TattooedMomma85

I just ate a ton of hot Cheetos, that's my favorite haha

SaphireH SaphireH

lol this is funny, i hate turning down sex but theres only a few times i have to do it the first 2 days of my periods because my cramps are nasty and when we have had to much sex i have to turn down my husband for a few days because my insides feel bruised lol

nonmember avatar Sweet Ann

I used to find some pretty and creative excuses, but then he stopped asking for sex and we got a divorce, so I guess I won that battle :(

Maybe if you don't want to have sex with your SO then shouldn't be with him.

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