15 Brides Reveal What Their Wedding Night Was Really Like

disappointed bride groom passed out on bedNo matter what religion you were raised with (or without!), society tell us that the consummation of marriage right after a couple's Big Day will set off fireworks bigger than any Macy's Fourth of July Spectacular. Reality check: At least 25 percent of couples don't even have sex on their wedding night, because they were too drunk or tired, according to a recent survey from wedding stationary company Paper Shaker, which interviewed 1,000 newlyweds.

More from The Stir: Wedding Night Sex Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be

Judging from our own findings on the matter, that percentage may very well be a lot higher! And even those couples who did do the deed aren't ballyhooing it as their best time between the sheets by far! Thus, in an effort to not necessarily burst anyone's bubble about their wedding night but bust unrealistic myths about it, here are 15 sex confessions we got from brides about what their wedding nights were really like ...

1. "My ex-husband sprained his ankle badly while drunkenly dancing with one of our bridesmaids to 'Cotton-Eyed Joe.' His parents came up to our hotel room later that night to check on him, because he was so swollen. Needless to say, the only moaning coming from our room was him ... moaning in pain!"

2. "My husband passed out from drinking on the bus ride to the hotel from the reception. I spent the night making sure he was okay and finally eating something after not eating all day."

3. "I guess that's the one advantage of having a dry, Mormon wedding -- we weren't too drunk to have sex!"

4. "We had sex, but I barely remember it, because I was hammered! Keepin' it classy."

5. "We got married in Vegas, so we had a great time at a club in our hotel. But after a whole night of dancing and toasting, we went back to our suite and passed out."

6. "We got into an argument, because a group of his friends got drunk since we had open bar and was being disruptive and rude and he thought I had them leave our wedding. I didn't, [but] we spent our wedding night in separate rooms."

7. "My husband got drunk on champagne, and the sex sucked, and he passed out right afterwards. I spent the night watching TV. We are divorced now."

8. "The first thing we did was climb on the bed (tux and gown still on) and opened all of our cards to count our cash. Then, ordered pizza. Even though we had a buffet at the reception, we were still starving. We ate pizza in bed while watching TV. We did NOT consummate our marriage that night. We were way too tired!"

9. "I was six weeks pregnant and sick as a dog, so we got through the courthouse wedding, suffered through my mother taking us out to dinner, went home and went right to bed!"

10. "I put on some lingerie in an attempt to look nice. My husband was more excited about opening the envelopes and counting the money from the checks. He said, 'Don't feel obligated to have sex.' We were too tired anyhow and went to sleep."

11. "We had a morning ceremony and breakfast reception, so we went home afterwards, I had a nap, then I had to work the night shift. How about that for romantic? Hah."

12. "We almost burned the B&B down! I threw his shirt over the top of a lamp, then later, we went out for dinner. When we came back, the shirt was scorched, and the room smelled like burnt cotton."

13. "I was exhausted and one of my bridesmaids came in our suite to make a sandwich. Her husband then wants a sandwich, and I finally get the dress off and am almost asleep when the groom wanted to celebrate our marriage. I'm pretty sure I slept through it."

14. "We spent our wedding night in the emergency room. Whoever set up the cake table didn't lock it in place properly, and it crashed on my foot."

15. "We got crazy drunk, but still managed to have a lot of fun getting it on. The next day we went [out] and came back to our room to find the cleaning service had been in the room to freshen things up for us and [put] all of our 'toys' in a pile by the bed and covered with a cloth. I about died of embarrassment thinking of the staff donning rubber gloves and pincer-grasping each item and placing them carefully in a pile!"

What was your wedding night really like? Would you guess the 25 percent stat is actually much higher?

 

Image via © Fotosearch Illustration/Corbis

weddings, love, marriage, sex

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Nik713 Nik713

I was sick during the wedding so I didn't feel that great and my husband got completely trashed. He initiated sex and I went along with it because it's my wedding night and it sets the basis for our marriage blah blah blah. Well he passed out on top of me during sex lol so I spent the rest of the night opening our cards and eating the delicious cake :)

kisse... kisses5050

 firsr one I was a virgin.. he was abusive it was horrid...


second one too tired it was two days latter before I was relaxed enough... and it was awesome

nonmember avatar Vriska

We had an evening wedding, so when we got to our house we were exhausted. We both agreed to just wait till morning.... but DAMN! That was a hell of a morning! (Still together by the way)

B1Bomber B1Bomber

I'm amazed the by the number of people who get so drunk they can't remember things, are hungover, pass out, get sick, or generally are too drunk to do anything. What fun is that? We had an afternoon wedding with no alcohol and people still remark years later that it was the most fun wedding they've attended.


And my new hubby and I were home before eight, definitely not too tired for the fun stuff.

malex... malexander2009

We snuck off during the reception. Thankfully there were bedroms since we were at a relatives house.

balan... balancing-act

We were sober but exhausted. We opened our cards took 500 pins out of my hair had obligatory consummation sex and crashed. We purposely stayed sober so we could remember everything (and so I didn't have to use the restroom more than necessary in the dress). The honeymoon was amazing! 10 years later still going strong

the4m... the4mutts

Im just curious, does not having sex on your wedding night, somehow make it a bad end to the day? I don't think it does.

We got married on Halloween 2013 (woot!) We had fully costumed guests, and I made my dress myself. It was a small wedding in our back yard, that I decorated myself. We had so much fun! It was also the very last time my mother in law ever stepped foot outdoors. She got to attend, and sign our marriage certificate. I will cherish that signature forever.

She passed away 2 days before Christmas. (Long term illness).

I honestly don't remember if we had sex that night, though I think we did. But we've been together almost 6 yrs now, even if only married for 5 months. We were so happy, and whether or not we had sex, did not ruin or make our night. We weren't drunk or anything either. We were focused on our special day.

nonmember avatar B

After our JP wedding, we went out to eat and came home (living with our in-laws since we were young) to consummate our marriage. During sex he stated that he wasn't a one woman type of guy and I would never be enough for him because he needed 'variety'. Ugh

nonmember avatar B

After our JP wedding, we went out to eat and came home (living with our in-laws since we were young) to consummate our marriage. During sex he stated that he wasn't a one woman type of guy and I would never be enough for him because he needed 'variety'. Ugh

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