What I Learned About My Wife While Trying to Set Up a Three-Way

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These days, there isn't much two-way action I can count on. But a while back, after dating my wife for about a year, a three-way came shockingly within reach.

Playboy assigned me a story about how kinky you can get your girlfriend to go. And, believe me, being on assignment from Playboy gives you tons of excuses you never otherwise get.

I told Jo Ann we were headed to a bar. This was true. I just neglected to mention it was a lesbian one. Although she somehow didn't notice that I was the only man waiting in line who was born that way, the name of the establishment, projected in white letters against a dark wall in the lobby, eventually betrayed my secret.

"One drink and that's it!" she commanded as we entered the Girl Bar.

A woman with blonde braids dancing alone looked like a model. It was that empty-eyed, off-balance kind of dancing that suggested someone you didn't want to take advantage of because she might be drunk or a mental patient. (Perfect!)

"No girls!" Jo Ann insisted. That was a tall order, considering the lack of any other gender here. Nevertheless, I nodded, ordered two red wines, and proceeded to ignore her every wish.

The Girl Bar also distinguished itself in another way from every other bar I've ever patronized: an attractive female was actually staring at me. It was Drunk and/or Crazy Bo Derek. And she approached!

This was not a dream. I double-checked. Her name was Myla. I invited her to sit. She was staring at me, she said, because she was embarrassed to look at Jo Ann. "I knew if I looked directly at you," Myla told her, "I would break my concentration and I couldn't dance right." (We were apparently a familiar phenomenon here: the token hetero couple seeking a third.)

Jo Ann thanked Myla and uncomfortably introduced herself. "You're a good dancer," she told her. I ordered Jo Ann a second red wine, then suggested that we hit the dance floor.

Jo Ann declined, then pulled me aside. "It's not that I think sex with a woman is gross," she said. "I just love you so much and I know that sex with another person would get in the way."

I could have pushed further. (And in my yank bank, I always do.) But Jo Ann's eyes began tearing. There was not enough red wine in the world to pull this off.

Fortunately, though, the story didn't end when we exited the bar. A couple of days later, Jo Ann awoke and asked me to guess what she just dreamed about: "You and me with our girlfriend."

What would it take for you to consider a three-way with your guy?

 

Image via Jon Feingersh/Blend Images/Corbis

marriage, sex, sexuality, turn-ons, sex secret

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Anna Potts

no man would ever push the women he loves to do such a thing in a commited loving relationship


 

nonmember avatar Eva

Did the site get hacked? This seems sort of out of place here. Or maybe I just haven't been paying attention. I dunno, dude. Would you have been willing to be with a guy if you wife had wanted you to?

the4m... the4mutts

I am bisexual. I love women. I have dated 3. Though I do have a preference for men.

Up until I got engaged to my (now) husband, I would have been all OVER a 3way. But when we became serious, and committed, I knew I would never be able to share him, or myself with anyone else ever again.

To each their own, I certainly wouldn't judge someone's consensual adult sex life. I just know its not the life I want.

nonmember avatar kelly

lol it was worth a shot, but good for you for stopping when she made it clear it wouldn't happen

Paws84 Paws84

Just another dude not happy with what he has at home, always looking for another chick. I'd seriously talk to you about divorce because obviously she's not good enough for you and you're not happy.

Frost... FrostyMelted

If your wife were a smart woman, she'd leave you for a number of reasons ranging from the terrible writing exemplified by this piece to your condescending attitude. 

Liz132 Liz132

Tricking your wife into going to a lesbian bar because you want to have sex with another women. Only did you realize you couldn't get her drunk enough to consent when she started to cry. You are a complete ass. I don't know what you are doing writing this trash on here.

Rando... Randomlady

there is always someone up in arms around here huh?


This was a good article, it shows he cares for his wife and like he mentioned in the beggining if you noticed it was for a playboy magazine assignment. Good on you for stopping, it would have torn the both of you apart.

Laura Walteros

I'm bi and while I won't judge if a committed couple adds another person in, be it temporarily or permanently, I do think the guy here is being a complete and utter asshole for leading his wife into a lesbian bar without any talk beforehand of what he was up to. Sounds manipulative, not an act of a understanding partner. Not to mention....let's say this assignment from Playboy was true. Why not start with something tame and work your way up from there? Starting at a threeway without discussing it first just seems like a desperate act to sleep with another woman. I wonder if he'd be just as excited heading to a gay club to try and pick up another guy?

Angie... AngieHayes

Well, I suppose there is a first time for everything!

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