7 Rules for Having 'Revenge Sex' the Right Way

Most of us have been there. We come to the end of a long relationship with a person we trusted and loved and then -- boom -- just like that it's over and we feel like someone dropped us flat on our faces. There's a period of mourning that occurs after a relationship ends, but instead of seeking solitary confinement and sitting in a quiet room reflecting on old times and trying to move on, some of us pursue...uh, more social activities to try and cope with our anger and sadness. 

I'm talking about sex, folks. Rebound or revenge sex, to be more accurate. According to a recent study of 170 college-age students, one-third of people have revenge sex within one month of breaking up with a partner. Ah well, if you're going to jump into that fire, at least make sure you're following a few rules and doing it right. 

I'm not an advocate for rebound sex, especially when it comes to women and rebound sex. It is totally sexist - I KNOW -- but I'm friends with several women who are as badass as they come and can eat sharks for lunch AND STILL had their hearts broken because they jumped into another sexual dalliance so soon after a bad break-up. 

With that said, I know there are some women -- I know one in particular -- who can pull this off. But those women have strict rules about how to engage in rebound sex -- and they stick to their guns, no matter how vulnerable they may feel. Here are 7 rules for revenge sex:

1. Your rebound partner should either be a stranger or a buddy who is NOT interested in you in any way other than as a sexual partner and maybe a cool person to chat with. It's important that you have the option of not calling the next day unless you choose to do so.
2. Keep mum on most details about your personal life and especially details about your past relationship. This isn't a therapy session.
3. Make sure you have rebound sex during the anger stage of your break-up and not during the sobbing, sad stage. In other words, wait a few weeks.
4. Don't flaunt your new sexual relationship in front of your ex. It reeks of desperation. Everyone, including your ex, will see right through you and parading him around like a circus animal isn't fair to your rebound partner. 
5. If possible, have rebound sex at your partner's house and not your own. A certain unnecessary intimacy builds just from him knowing that your toothbrush is blue. 
6. Use protection. Jeez, this goes without saying, right? You're in the mood to be reckless -- fine -- have a few glasses of wine. But don't mess with your health.
7. Do not. I repeat, DO NOT have rebound sex with a friend of your ex's. You are a good person going through a bad time. Don't compromise your own reputation or how you'll eventually feel about yourself when the clouds clear by sleeping with a soldier in the enemy's army. 
Have you ever had rebound or revenge sex? Do you have any rules for making it work?
Image via jafsegal/Flickr

breakups, dating, in the news, hooking up, sex, sex secret


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adamat34 adamat34

Look...a "HOW TO BE A WHORE" manual. .....great

Rando... Randomlady

meaningless sex doesn't mean whore. But you'll take the word to mean sex with anyone who isn't married to you so the argument is pointless.

Some of these are great pointers, 3. 4. and 6. are particularly good. I've never done rebound sex but either way it is no way for mature adults to act by flaunting who you've just had sex with.

BGarcel BGarcel

If you're going to do it then you should do it the right way and these seem like good tips. If I can throw a tip onto that list it would be to not plan on having sex with that guy again. My sister had revenge sex and committed that error and got attached to the new guy who definitely wasnt wanting a relationship with her. It made her feel worse.

And really adamat34, take the stick out of your ass and stop being so judgy

Mike Brannon

Revenge sex? If your ex has left you they dont care what to do so it's pointless unless
you just enjoy it for what it is. If youre engaging in this method you're letting your ex still have power over your behaviour. Do something, or don't just because you want to not because it's supposed to affect someone who doesn't care about you anymore.

nonmember avatar Jay


nonmember avatar shutitadamat34

Yes adamat, its terrible for a woman to have sex, rightk? its only ok for men. i hate this whole slut shaming thing in our culture. if a woman wants to go screw around for whatever her reasons are, thats her business. it does not make her a whore. btw, before im accused of anything, my husband was my first and only, so im no whore, but i do realize that women have as much right to sexuality as mena!

Steve Newell

i have to agree with the whole "how to be a whore" thing. this is incredibly stupid. and anyone saying "its terrible for a woman to have sex, right? its only ok for men." is an idiot too. a whore is a whore, regardless of gender.

Walt Walters

I have to agree, women have just as much right to ENJOY sex (as often as they want with whomever they want) as men do. Men are "stereotyped" just because they "whore" around and yet they are quick to call a woman a "whore" IF she sleeps with more than one partner. That is a CROCK!
OH, and BTW I am a man.....

nonmember avatar Penny Rose

two wrongs dont make a righ haveing sex outside of marrage is damgerous and you will get bugs loose any self respect you thought you had getting really good sleep is hard without a clean conciece

nonmember avatar Stacey Kay

This article is definitely titled wrong, 'revenge sex' ensues that you are wanting revenge (from your ex) and intend on sleeping with someone with whom it will piss off or upset your ex-partner (ie. a friend - number 7)...hence the whole 'revenge' thing. Here's the one and only tip you need - don't do it, it never ends well.

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