Most of us have been there. We come to the end of a long relationship with a person we trusted and loved and then -- boom -- just like that it's over and we feel like someone dropped us flat on our faces. There's a period of mourning that occurs after a relationship ends, but instead of seeking solitary confinement and sitting in a quiet room reflecting on old times and trying to move on, some of us pursue...uh, more social activities to try and cope with our anger and sadness.
I'm talking about sex, folks. Rebound or revenge sex, to be more accurate. According to a recent study of 170 college-age students, one-third of people have revenge sex within one month of breaking up with a partner. Ah well, if you're going to jump into that fire, at least make sure you're following a few rules and doing it right.
I'm not an advocate for rebound sex, especially when it comes to women and rebound sex. It is totally sexist - I KNOW -- but I'm friends with several women who are as badass as they come and can eat sharks for lunch AND STILL had their hearts broken because they jumped into another sexual dalliance so soon after a bad break-up.
With that said, I know there are some women -- I know one in particular -- who can pull this off. But those women have strict rules about how to engage in rebound sex -- and they stick to their guns, no matter how vulnerable they may feel. Here are 7 rules for revenge sex:
1. Your rebound partner should either be a stranger or a buddy who is NOT interested in you in any way other than as a sexual partner and maybe a cool person to chat with. It's important that you have the option of not calling the next day unless you choose to do so.
2. Keep mum on most details about your personal life and especially details about your past relationship. This isn't a therapy session.
3. Make sure you have rebound sex during the anger stage of your break-up and not during the sobbing, sad stage. In other words, wait a few weeks.
4. Don't flaunt your new sexual relationship in front of your ex. It reeks of desperation. Everyone, including your ex, will see right through you and parading him around like a circus animal isn't fair to your rebound partner.
5. If possible, have rebound sex at your partner's house and not your own. A certain unnecessary intimacy builds just from him knowing that your toothbrush is blue.
6. Use protection. Jeez, this goes without saying, right? You're in the mood to be reckless -- fine -- have a few glasses of wine. But don't mess with your health.
7. Do not. I repeat, DO NOT have rebound sex with a friend of your ex's. You are a good person going through a bad time. Don't compromise your own reputation or how you'll eventually feel about yourself when the clouds clear by sleeping with a soldier in the enemy's army.
Have you ever had rebound or revenge sex? Do you have any rules for making it work?