7 Things That Too Often End Once the Honeymoon Phase Is Over

kissingWhen things begin in a relationship and that new car smell is still intoxicating and just the slight rev of the engine gets you all hot and bothered everything is pure bliss! Happiness and dizziness and everythingness all wrapped in one package. Voila! Your lover! Perfect perfection and flowers and sweet nothings and poetry and gushing sentiments and butterflies -- it's a heady mix of lust and adoration and more, more, more.

Then, for some, that all ends. Like a car crash sometimes. Or like a shooting star it soars and then slowly dims to black. Sometimes couples settle into this and essentially take each other for granted ... take the fact that you have a nice warm body wanting to be loved sitting right at the other end of the couch but you've both gotten so used to this dance around each other instead of with each other and the romance fades. These are the things that are the first to go when the honeymoon phase is over. Maybe recognizing them will help these things stick around.

  1. Kissing.
  2. Complimenting each other.
  3. Snuggling.
  4. Saying "I love you" with feeling.
  5. Holding hands.
  6. Saying "I'm sorry" and really meaning it.
  7. Saying "thank you" with earnest.

I want to say don't stop believing ... hold on to these feelings but I fear that will sound too much like a Journey song. But it's so true. Making sure you still do all the things on this list is one of the secrets to keeping passion alive. But it also could be one of the ways you realize that the relationship is dead and gone and perhaps it's time to move on. (I'm sure there's a song there, too, somewhere.)

When was the last time you kissed your partner? Truly made out, passionately locked lips? Do you still tell each other sweet nothings? Do you snuggle or sit far apart all the time? Did your "I love yous" become as mundane as "Can you take out the trash?" How often do you hold hands? Are your "I'm sorry" and "thank you" responses on autopilot? None of that has to be. That honeymoon phase can last -- just ask couples who have been together for years and years and years. It takes effort. But if you love love, and love each other, that effort is worth it.

Do you agree? What else is the first things to go once the honeymoon phase is over? How do you try to rekindle it?


Image via Steven Orr/Flickr

commitment, love, marriage


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nonmember avatar Alejandra

We still do all those things and have been married 11 years. Sure life, responsibilities and kids get in the way of our romance novel but we manage to make time. Things are not perfect all the time but for the most part I look at him and thank my lucky stars:)

nonmember avatar Anonymous

8. Marriage itself (today when the "in love" feelings fade "it's over," Bubba!)

pj2be... pj2becca21

Really people stop using manner and all of those things. I have been married almost 4 years and we still do all those things.

Young... Young_Hot_Mamma

Me and my husbands 10 year is in June, we still adore/love each other like when we first got together. Its amazing!

nonmember avatar Joanne

Married almost 20 years. Have had our ups and downs. Was on the verge of splitting up and realized we didn't want to be apart. We fell in love all over again. We do all of those daily. It is a wonderful feeling.

mommy... mommyarmywife19

My husband and I haven't been married a year yet and we are a young couple him being 18 and me being 19 but I don't see any of that stuff stopping lol and I may not have the years some married couples have but I truly think God told me he was the one and I think we are going to be together for a very long time as long as we fallow Gods directions.

Amy Brooke Brown

!7 years total together and married for 13 yrs and all of that still exhists and more he whistles at me calls me sexy and I do it to him too he always tells me how beautiful I am and even when he calls from work it's always hello beautiful how are you today we never miss a kiss hello or goodbye or forget to say I love you even with 3 kids say eeewww you 2 are gross. I can proudly say in all the years and all we've been thru we've only had 2 fights and we both said sorry we talk things out and we always make sure to compliment one another also no matter how hard we've worked or how long the day was even if either of us have a headache we still make time for intamacy. I'm proud of our marriage and am not worried of it ever falling apart

deadl... deadlights86

Been 7 years and none of that has stopped. I would think there was something wrong if it ever did stop.

Debbie Slaughter

I found that one of the first things to go was feeling that I was being heard. I am not a nag, as many would likely think, creating my partner's need to escape. He just has many distractions and goals in mind for the day. So I try to find moments when he is engaging with me, to ask a favor, or give him a hug first, to get his attention. It does not always work, but more often than not, does.

Traci... Traci_Momof2

The last two things on the list, especially the last one, are the ones I have to constantly work at to not lose them.  We are approaching 15 years of marriage and it get's too easy to just take for granted the things that he does for me.  I have to remind myself to thank him.

The rest of the list has not gone anywhere.  We've had our ups and downs in all areas but mostly we're still going strong.

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