When things begin in a relationship and that new car smell is still intoxicating and just the slight rev of the engine gets you all hot and bothered everything is pure bliss! Happiness and dizziness and everythingness all wrapped in one package. Voila! Your lover! Perfect perfection and flowers and sweet nothings and poetry and gushing sentiments and butterflies -- it's a heady mix of lust and adoration and more, more, more.
Then, for some, that all ends. Like a car crash sometimes. Or like a shooting star it soars and then slowly dims to black. Sometimes couples settle into this and essentially take each other for granted ... take the fact that you have a nice warm body wanting to be loved sitting right at the other end of the couch but you've both gotten so used to this dance around each other instead of with each other and the romance fades. These are the things that are the first to go when the honeymoon phase is over. Maybe recognizing them will help these things stick around.
- Complimenting each other.
- Saying "I love you" with feeling.
- Holding hands.
- Saying "I'm sorry" and really meaning it.
- Saying "thank you" with earnest.
I want to say don't stop believing ... hold on to these feelings but I fear that will sound too much like a Journey song. But it's so true. Making sure you still do all the things on this list is one of the secrets to keeping passion alive. But it also could be one of the ways you realize that the relationship is dead and gone and perhaps it's time to move on. (I'm sure there's a song there, too, somewhere.)
When was the last time you kissed your partner? Truly made out, passionately locked lips? Do you still tell each other sweet nothings? Do you snuggle or sit far apart all the time? Did your "I love yous" become as mundane as "Can you take out the trash?" How often do you hold hands? Are your "I'm sorry" and "thank you" responses on autopilot? None of that has to be. That honeymoon phase can last -- just ask couples who have been together for years and years and years. It takes effort. But if you love love, and love each other, that effort is worth it.
Do you agree? What else is the first things to go once the honeymoon phase is over? How do you try to rekindle it?
Image via Steven Orr/Flickr